Attract Your Soulmate

Can Little White Lies Actually HELP Your Relationship?

2011-03-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

How to Tell even the Ugliest Truth!

So, your partner has just asked a tough question, like, “Is it OK with you if I hang out with the guys tonight (for the third time this week!)?" Or, "Does it bother you that I’ve gained 10 pounds?”

Now, you’re squirming in awkward silence. You’ve got precisely 15 seconds to decide: Do I tell the truth or offer a little white lie?

If you’re like many people, it’s tempting to offer up what seems like an innocent fib, “Oh sure, have a great time. Tell the guys I said hello.”

That’s because many people have a deeply ingrained desire to please, reinforced by societal standards that suggest that people, especially women, should avoid offending others at all costs.

But what most folks aren’t aware of are the subtle, but growing costs of cumulative white lies. Although the little fib is usually used to make someone feel better or avoid hurting their feelings, over time, it actually has the opposite effect on your relationship.

In fact, avoiding the truth actually puts stress on your relationship, eventually creating feelings of distance, resentment, and dissatisfaction.

So, even LITTLE white lies aren’t doing your relationship any favors!

The next time you’re tempted to take the easy way out and offer a fib, realize that those uncomfortable moments are actually invitations to step closer to your partner by offering your authentic thoughts and feelings.

When you learn to always share your truth from a heart-felt place, it will have a freeing effect on you both that actually increases feelings of trust, closeness, and commitment. And best of all, your needs will be met more of the time.

But how do you offer your truth in a way that will bring you closer, not push your partner away?
It’s easy once you master the Truth Sandwich.

Serving Up a Truth Sandwich: 3 Steps to Sharing Your Truth in Any Situation

The essence of a truth sandwich is that you find a way of sharing your real thoughts and feelings that will lift up your partner, not bring him or her down. To do this, it’s easy to sandwich your truth between 2 relationship-bonding statements.

Step 1: Appreciate their Intent

If your man wants to hang with the guys again, let him know you really appreciate him asking your opinion first. Try a statement like, “I really appreciate you checking in with me about your plans- that’s so thoughtful.”

Step 2: Offer a Gentle Version of Your Truth

Once you’ve opened up with appreciation, you’ve softened the way for your truth. Continue with a gentle way to share how you really feel.

If you’ve been missing your guy and really wish he’d hang with you instead, try something like, “You know, I was just thinking about how much I’ve been missing some one- on- one time with you.”

Step 3: Wrap Up with a Suggestion

Then finish with a suggestion that will bring you closer together.

Experiment with something like, “Maybe we could meet for some sushi then crash on the couch for a movie instead? Or if you’re really jazzed about being with the guys tonight- let’s schedule a date later this week.”

This way you are still offering him free choice. But chances are, once you opened up and let your partner know how much you’ve been craving some time together, he’ll actually rather spend time with you! By having the courage to share how you really feel, you create the opportunity for more closeness, which is a win-win for you both.

Readers: We want your take- are white lies, no matter how little, bad for your relationship or are they a simple part of life? If you do tell fibs here and there, what is acceptable and what is not?

Thanks to Galtime.com for posting this original article. Add to the discussion here!

Help! My Partner is NOT over the Ex!

2011-02-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

QUESTION: My boyfriend seems to love me but he keeps lying about his relationship with his Ex. Obviously, they are more than friends. Is there any hope for us?

ANSWER: Frankly, the only reason your partner is lying to you is that he KNOWS the truth isn’t acceptable. Otherwise, he wouldn’t need to keep hiding his thoughts, feelings, and actions involving his ex.

Sadly, if someone keeps lying, that means that there is something to hide!

Unless you’re OK sharing your beau with his ex, chances are it’s time to move on.

Clearly, his heart and mind are still involved with another woman. No matter how well the two of you get along, if he’s still stuck on feelings for his ex- he simply isn’t 100% available to be committed to you, heart and soul.

And you deserve to have a whole man to yourself- one who loves you without need to divide his time and attention.

If you are so right for each other AND the time comes when he is wholly available (and I mean it’s been 6 months or more without ANY involvement with the EX), you could consider rebuilding a relationship, but until then, you are settling for second best.

Readers, what do you think? If someone still holds a torch for an ex, should you bail right away or give it time and feel things out? Leave us a comment!

Thanks to Galtime.com for posting this original Q&A. See the discussion here.

Singles Surviving Valentine’s Day: Top 5 Ideas to Boost Your Love

2011-02-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

If you’re single, you probably cringe when someone brings up the dreaded V-day, one of the loneliest holidays for the unhitched.

That’s because, surrounded by images of happy couples reveling in love, it’s hard not to focus on the fact that you’re not getting any!

But here’s an interesting irony.

As long as you’re focused on what makes you unhappy, all of the feelings of sadness, frustration, and helplessness- your Love Faucet is closed.

Love literally can’t come your way because when you walk around bummed out, your body language doesn’t attract other people, it actually repels them.

So, this Valentine’s day there is a simple key to launch you from surviving to thriving: Focus on giving love.

Rather than going on about your love woes and the love you aren’t getting, step into being a Giver of Love- to everyone in your path- from the barista at your coffee shop, to your cranky co-worker hunched at his desk, to the harried waitress serving up dinner.

When you focus on giving love, you immediately light up. Those warm and fuzzies you’re passing around? They automatically make you look more attractive to other people- drawing them to you.

Even better, once you are being love, your Love Faucet is turned back on and you are now having the Experience of Love.

Top 5 Ideas to Boost Your Love

- As you are out and about, gift everyone whose eyes you meet a huge smile while sending a beam of love.

- Send an over-due thank you note to someone who touched your heart.

- Give a genuine compliment to everyone you interact with- from friends to colleagues to service workers.

- Offer someone you know is feeling down or having bad luck a tiny trinket that symbolizes hope, love, or the power of dreams.

- On a note card, write the phrases, “You are loved. Pass it on.” Leave the note in a public place, like your co-worker’s desk, a table at the mall food-court, or even hand it to a stranger you pass on the street!

Get in the habit of giving love and it’s only a matter of time until you’ll be the recipient of the loving you’ve been waiting for.

But why wait? This Valentine’s Day, step into giving the love, which will help you feel the love, which will lead you right into attracting the love you long for!

Readers: What helps you step into experiencing love by giving love? Please share!

Top 4 Signs You are Dating a Commitment-Phobe and How to Deal!

2011-01-24T11:10:00.000-08:00

Have you spent too long trying to make Mr./Ms. Wrong fall in love with you? You know the type- the one you’re always pursuing because they forever seem to be just out of reach.

Sadly, many singles squander away time pursuing a relationship that has no future, when they could be busy finding real love.

But the drama of being on an emotional roller coaster with a Commitment-Phobe can be a tad addicting, luring you in with juicy highs, and the hope that maybe underneath it all they could be The One.

So, how can you tell when you’re wasting your time? When the person you’re dating has no intention of committing to you?

The bottom line is that when two people really like each other, they automatically enact the Principle of Equal Investment. In other words, both partners invest equal amounts of time, energy, and emotion.

Check out these tell-tale signs that their investment isn’t up to par, as well as what to do about it.

1. You Always Reach Out First

If you’re always beating your date to an email, text, or call- then you’re extending more effort. If you waited to reach out, would it be a few days, a week, 2 weeks before you heard from them? You better find out!

Solution: Give'em Space

The more you pursue a commitment-phobe, the more they withdraw. So, wait for them to make contact first. When they does reach out, don’t jump to connect- take your time returning the message.

2. They Only Make Last Minute Plans

A commitment-phobe likes to keep their options open, so they typically only initiate plans with you at the last minute. Sure, they might agree to something you’ve planned sooner- but they won’t make that move personally.

Solution: Make Your Own Plans

When you have a full life of fun, you’ll be less needy and more attractive. So make your own plans with friends and never change them just to be with them. If they really want to spend time with you, they'll learn to schedule time sooner. Let them pursue you.

3. You’re an Outsider to their World

When a person isn’t ready to commit, they'll keep you separate from their world of work, friends, and family. If you’ve been dating more than 6 weeks and haven’t met anyone important to them yet, they are clearly unsure if you belong in their life.

Solution: Invite Yourself In

When your partner does call, say you’d love to meet their friends. Offer to set up a friendly group date- with some of your friends and theirs. When a person really wants to be with you, they want to show you off! If they balk- it’s a sign they are not right for you.

4. You’re Skating on the Superficial Surface

Does your partner still feel like a stranger? That’s because they aren't ready to invite you into their inner life. If you have to pry the deeper thoughts and feelings out, then they not choosing to connect on an authentic level.

Solution: Share Your Vision

When two people click, it’s natural for them to talk about their vision for the future- their hopes, fears, and dreams for a better life. So bring up your own wishes, you don’t have to talk about the future of the relationship. If your partner doesn’t get engaged with this conversation, it’s a clear sign they not invested in you yet.

If after stepping back and trying these tips for up to a month, your partner still isn’t filling that space by connecting more deeply and regularly with you, then it’s time to move on to a person who values you as much as you value them!

Readers: What signs has your commitment-phobe given you and what did you do about it? Please share!

Thanks to Galtime.com for publishling this original article.

Have You Made YOUR Soulmate Resolution?

2011-01-21T10:20:00.000-08:00

If you’re still single, chances are you’re ready to find the right partner and begin enjoying the benefits of happy coupledom.

To boost your odds of finding the right match, here are some commitments you can make to yourself to ensure you really will attract the perfect partner.

Resolution 1: Re-Boot the Inner You

Every single has ideas that are holding you back: thoughts of lack, limitation, or impossibility that keep you from attracting the kind of high quality partner you deserve. Whether you think you are too old, too big, too short, or too broke to find real love, it’s only a myth because there is someone for everyone.

Don’t let inaccurate perceptions stop you from stepping out and staying in the game of love. Clean up your self-talk until the messages you give yourself about love are energizing and uplifting. That inner sparkle will attract outer attention!

Resolution 2: Restyle the Outer You

Once you clean up the inner you, the outer you could use some polish. Consider which aspect of your physical appearance needs updating- hair, clothes, fitness?- to go along with your new attitude. Discover what would make you feel like a great catch, and then let your new confidence highlight your fresh features.

When you look great, you feel great and that will be attractive to the perfect kind of partner!

Resolution 3: Resist Inaction

Most singles get frustrated after a couple of let-downs, then they give up their search for real love.

But to be successful at attracting the ideal partner this year, you’ve got to stay in action, rotating your strategies until someone clicks.

Commit to a novel act or activity at least twice a month, whether it’s trying a new online dating site, going to a different singles event, or even getting your coffee or lunch at an unusual location. By mixing it up, you’ll increase your exposure to new people- any of whom may be the perfect match!

Resolution 4: Stay on Track

Once you’re dating, it can be hard to remember that your ultimate outcome is to find the best partner, not just any partner. It’s easy to just keep sliding forward in a barely right relationship, wasting precious time you could be using to find a great match.

So give any budding bond 3 months and if it’s missing momentum, bow out and stay on the lookout for someone who really is your ideal partner!

With these 4 commitments, you’ll be on your way to attracting the kind of love that really can last a lifetime!

Readers: What commitment are you ready to make to ensure you will find love this year? Please share!

4 Steps to Surviving a Singles New Year’s Eve (and Thriving!)

2010-12-30T14:33:00.000-08:00

When you’re craving the loving lips of your perfect partner to kiss at midnight, it’s kind of a downer to be all alone.

But you can make 2011 the year you finally meet your ideal mate. And New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to step into a slate-clearing ritual which will be the first step to attracting real love next year.

So instead of heading out to a party, where the sight of all those happy couples might send you into a spiral of depression, here’s an uplifting way to spend the first night of the New Year.

New Year Ritual for Singles

Step 1: Set the Space for Romance

Create a comforting space where you can reflect upon last year and your desires for next year- maybe with candles, music, warm blankets, and your favorite snacks. The mood you are aiming for is gratitude: grateful appreciation for what has been and grateful expectation for what will be.

Step 2: Express Gratitude for the Gifts

Make a gratitude list from all of your dating experience last year. First focus on all of the experiences you don’t actually feel grateful for.

As you list them, tune into what the lesson was in each uncomfortable event. What was the gift? How was it asking you to step into your Best Self? Can you be appreciative of that opportunity? Wrap your list up with all of the dating experiences you actually do feel gratitude for.

Soak in that attitude of gratitude as you read your list out loud, thanking each person for the gem of opportunity they offered to you even if you didn’t recognize the gift until right this moment.

Step 3: Write Your Love Story

From this warm-hearted space, let’s step into your vision of love in the New Year. It’s time to write your very own love story. Yup- I want you to imagine what it will look and feel like once you are happily in love with your ideal partner.

Picture a scene you are looking forward to experiencing and write it out with all the details of every sense- what will you see, feel, hear, touch, taste, smell? Bring it to life in all it’s glory. Now you have a visualization you can use every day- once you step into this feeling, you become a mate magnet.

Step 4: Invite Your Mate to Join You

Standing in your power as a mate magnet, the last step to our ritual is to compose a letter to your beloved. After experiencing this future scene, what are all of the things you wish to say to the love of your life?

Consider this paper at once a thank you note, a love letter, and a personal invitation for this person to appear in your life. Once it’s done, place it in an envelope, and put it in a special drawer that you have cleared to be your partners once they show up.

Then go to sleep with the grateful expectation that real love will be yours in the new year, knowing that you just set the stage perfectly for your true love to walk into your life and sweep you off your feet.

Singles: How will you welcome love into the New Year? Share!

Top 5 Must-Do New Years Resolutions for Singles

2010-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

If you are ringing in the New Year all alone, chances are you’re ready to finally find love in 2011.

Of course, January is the perfect time to wipe your slate clean of last year’s love mistakes to ensure that next year really is filled with lasting love.

If you are serious about fast forwarding to the relationship of your dreams, it’s time to commit to the following six resolutions.

1. Bust Old Patterns

If your luck in love is going to be different next year, the first thing you need to do is get honest with yourself about the patterns that are holding you back.

Think back through the last few years- which experiences have you had over and over? Do you pursue while he withdraws? Are you forever rescuing her?

Resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes, then walk away, so you can create new, healthy habits pronto.

2. Date Outside Your Type

Chances are if “your type” hasn’t panned out for you by now, it’s time to discover a new type. Quirky artist not working out so well? Mr. Wall Street never emotionally available?

Resolve to date outside your normal comfort zone. Consider opening up your expectations in regard to age, height, income, race, job, etc.

Soulmates come in unexpected packages- broaden your horizon and you’re more apt to stumble upon an unexpected perfect match.

3. Ditch the Duds Fast

The best way to fast forward to The One? Stop wasting your time with people who are clearly only Mr./Ms. Right Now.

As long as you give away your valuable time, attention, and emotion to the wrong partner, you’ll never find the right relationship. Limit yourself to three months of dating, if the bond doesn’t obviously have more potential by then, move on.

4. Blast through Dating Ruts

Yup- doing what you’ve always done, will get you what you’ve always gotten. If you haven’t found the right partner during your usual routine, it’s time to get creative in your daily & dating activities.

Join new groups, take novel classes, or frequent different coffee shops, bookstores, hiking trails, & grocery stores. Your ideal mate is out there- if you are always somewhere new, doing something different, you maximize the chances of serendipity working it’s magic.

5. Share Your Best Self

Maybe it’s not just what you are doing that needs a makeover, but who you are and how you show up! Get real with yourself by asking: What about you isn’t as attractive as it could be?

Ask your closest friend for honest feedback. Do you tend to be overly anxious or pessimistic? Are quick to pass judgment or so shy you fade into the background? Maybe it’s time to hit the gym, get some cute clothes, or try a new hairstyle?

When you step into your best self, you’ll more naturally attract a better partner- the one you truly deserve.

By making these 5 commitments, you’ll be well on your way to making 2011 the year you finally find true love!

Readers: What's your New Years Resolution to find love? Please share!

3 Steps to Finding Love in 2011

2010-12-20T11:51:00.000-08:00

Being single around the holidays can, well, suck. But it doesn’t have to for long, because you can focus on getting jazzed up about finally finding The One in 2011.

Woo-hoo!

To boost your chances of attracting real love next year, there are really only 3 simple steps you need to take. If you start focusing on them now, by the time you ring in the New Year, you can be fast-forwarding yourself towards the love you deserve.

But, if you get all bah-hum-bug on me and stay stuck in a rut of old patterns. Well, I hate to say it, but 2011 will probably look a lot like 2010 did- without the love of your life gracing your days.

So, let’s leap into the New Year ready to manifest real, lasting love into your life.

Get started now with these 3 Steps for Finding Love in 2011

1. Extend Gratitude for your Love Lessons

Before you’ll be ready to really attract a new kind of love that is deeply fulfilling, you’ll have to take a serious look at what you created last year in the love department.

Sit down with a notebook and go through all of your love experiences in 2010 and identify the MAJOR LESSONS each experience invited you to learn.

Now, dig deep into your heart and express some gratitude to each of these people who offered these lessons- because if you had not learned these lessons you wouldn’t be ready to meet The One.

Really.

So find the part of your heart that can really and truly be thankful for each and every one of these not so perfect partners.

2. Clarify the Pattern

With your lessons front and center, you should be able to recognize the patterns you tend to play out in your love life.

Take some thoughtful time to get super clear about:

- The kind of partner you tend to attract (the good and not so good qualities)

- The kinds of unhappy interactions you tend to have with partners

- The ways in which your needs tend to remain unfulfilled

- The behaviors you engage in which keep this cycle going on

3. Set Your Action Plan

Awesome- now that you know what ISN’T working, commit to doing something new that will work!

Based on your insights about the old patterns, create some new dating rules for yourself so you can create a new pattern. And get a buddy to hold you accountable so that real love can be yours this year.

For example,

- If fear held you back and you hardly met anyone last year, grab a single friend and commit to going to 2 singles events a month.

- If you keep falling for emotionally unavailable partners, commit to walking out the door as soon as you see the old warning signs so you can stay available for a great partner.

- If you tend to find fault with everyone you date, commit to giving everyone 3 chances- you never know what a little time might do for your bond.

You get the idea- bust out of your dating ruts, and soon lasting love can be your reward. Make 2011 the year you finally find The One- you deserve it.

And we’ll be right here with you, supporting you toward creating Authentic Attraction that can result in Love that Lasts a Lifetime!

Give yourself the gift of love! Not sure how to clear the old patterns? Our 3 part- e-course, Super Charge Your Soulmate Magnet will help you shift out of the old so you can begin attracting real love right away!

Ready to take action now? I found my husband online and you can too- I can help: Meet Your Mate Online

Top 3 Dating Lessons from the Bachelorette

2010-07-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

Can you find real love on a reality TV show? Doubtful. Since the conditions aren't real!

But you can learn REAL love lessons from all that drama. Let's take a peek at this season's Bachelorette, Ali, to see what insights her journey offer for those looking for real life lasting love.

Lesson 1: Juggling is Oh-So-Good

The Bachelorette is set up so Ali gets to date a ton of guys at a time. While you may never have 25 guys vying for your attention at one time (and it isn't smart to actually fall in love with more than one at a time!), there is some wisdom to getting to know a few prospects at a time.

That's what I call Juggling, and it's perfect because it keeps you moving toward finding real love with fewer time outs when guys up and disappear. And it's less heartbreaking when one or more disqualify themselves from the running- because you still have hope another option will pan out.

Plus, when you spread your attention out over a few qualified prospects, you take the time to go slower- getting to know the real person behind the persona. This means you won't make the mistake of falling head over heels for a mere image of the perfect partner before you know what's on the inside. By going slowly, you can build a solid love, one date at a time.

Lesson 2: Follow Your Gut

One of Ali's most genuine connections from the start was with Frank. Yet, something wasn't quite right. She even said it herself a few dates in, something like: "What scares me is you have the potential to break my heart."

BINGO! Fast forward several episodes to where Ali has chosen Frank to stay in the top 3 and he informs her he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend! Ouch! Now her heart is broken and she sent home good guys who could have been The One.

The moral? Always listen to your instincts. If something feels off, 90% of the time, it is and you shouldn't slide forward in your connection until you get it figured out. Bring your concerns up and don't ignore them until it feels right.

A good line to try: "Is there something you aren't telling me?" If the answer doesn't feel right, don't trust it, move on.

Lesson 3: Listen to Your Friends

Oh boy, the hunky Wrestler. An upstanding man in pursuit of real love or a fake, selfish publicity seeker? That was the question from the very first episode- when all the men voted Justin off- they just didn't trust him.

But his charming, smooth ways won over Ali in spite of everyone else's opinion. Only to find out mid-way through that he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home- he was a dishonorable liar. And again, Ali sent home quality guys to keep this phony.

The lesson? When in doubt, always listen to the opinion of close friends and family who often have clearer judgment that isn't clouded by hopes of love and hormones. If no one likes your new date- there is a reason- get to the bottom of it before love leaves you with a broken heart.

While true love isn't easy to find on TV, you have high hopes of creating a lasting love when you date smart!

Readers: Which hunky prospect would you have choosen for Ali? For yourself? Let us know!

Wondering how much longer it's gonna be until you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn's Attractor Factor quiz and discover what's keeping you from finding real, lasting love. Haven't you waited long enough? Become a Massive Love Magnet today! Take the quiz now: http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com

Online Dating: The Most Expensive Mistake Sites Want You to KEEP Making!

2010-07-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

Online dating is an excellent way to finally find the perfect partner you’ve been waiting for. But only if you master the art of online dating with authenticity and charm.

Which isn’t as simple as it seems.

In part, because there is a dirty little secret the online dating sites don’t want you to know.

That’s because as long as you keep making this mistake, you’ll never find The One.

Which works out nicely for the sites since you’ll keep handing over your hard earned money in the hopes of eventually attracting real love.

What’s this secret?

That the Wink or Smile feature doesn’t work!

Some time ago, most of the popular Internet dating sites added a fancy new feature that seemed, at first glance, to be a fantastic idea: The Wink or Smile.

With this feature, it took only one click to let new cuties know that you were interested in them- without having to write a word.

It seemed to make perfect sense.

The apparent benefit? It immediately streamlined the time it took you to reach out and express your interest to more potential dates than ever.

A good thing?

Absolutely not!

Because there was a Hidden Downfall:
Winks or Smiles don’t work because they are actually an INSULT!

Really? An Insult?

Oh yes, because here is what you are REALLY communicating when you send a wink or smile:

I’m not interested in you enough to spend a moment to write you a short, thoughtful email. I’m only willing to expend the effort it takes to press this button once.

See what I mean?

Hardly a compliment that makes the recipient want to expend ANY energy looking at your profile to see if you are worth writing back to.

Nope! That’s why the vast majority of winks or smiles get ignored.

So not only are they a total waste of your time, but you are actually missing out on great dates and maybe even bypassing The ONE!!!

That’s because some of those people you winked at would surely have responded to you if only you had taken the time to write them a compelling greeting instead!

So, this set up certainly works for the online dating sites- right? Because they look like good guys- giving you a quick and easy way to connect.

But it’s actually a DIS-connect working against you finding love- in essence, ensuring that you stay a paying member on their site for a good long time.

That’s why savvy, successful online daters NEVER use the wink or smile.

Instead they write an engaging, meaningful greeting email and score dozens more dates than you.

All leading them to finding the love they’ve been waiting for!

Readers: Does the wink or smile feature insult you? Let us know!

Do you have the skills it takes to find love online?
Find out now- take the Online Attraction Quiz:
MeetYourMateOnline.com

The 3 Best First-Date Compliments to Ensure a Second Date!

2010-05-25T18:15:00.001-07:00

Do you find yourself going on plenty of first dates, but never getting to the second date? Or maybe it’s a challenge to even get to the first date?

If so, you might need to polish the skills it takes to create an authentic attraction, one that creates enough curiosity that you are naturally lead to the next date.

Thankfully, the Art of Authentic Attraction is simple enough! It’s all about coming from your heart so you can connect to the heart of your date.

Below you’ll discover the 3 Best Compliments to give your date to build instant connection, heart to heart. Once a connection is created, the desire to learn more about each other is sparked, giving you the opportunity to meet again.

Of course, you can only offer these words of praise if they are genuine- otherwise, you aren’t being authentic, you’re playing a game! So keep in mind, it’s ok to personalize your compliments to the strengths you see in your date.

Compliment 1: “I love the sparkle in your eyes.”

The eyes are indeed the window to the soul, so take the time to make deep meaningful eye contact with your date, seeing past the outer imperfections to the inner beauty.

As you do, let them know you appreciate the sparkle you see there. With this comment, you are reflecting the energy of WHO they are. And everyone loves to be SEEN for who they really are.

Since people so frequently don’t recognize each other for the energy they are bringing to the moment, when you do, you’ll immediately create a spark of curiosity in your date- based on a real, mini-heart bond.

A bond you can build on during the rest of your date.

Compliment 2: “Wow, I really admire your passion about that!”

Ask your date what they are passionate about and keep asking them questions about it until they literally come alive right in front of you.

When talking about their passion people actually become more attractive AND your sincere interest in their passion makes you immediately more attractive as well. So it’s a double bonus leading to chemistry.

Plus when you honor someone’s innate interests, you create commonality, boosting their desire to see you again.

Compliment 3: “I love the way I feel around you! You make me feel ________!”

We all crave recognition for being the great people we are. But in our rushed world, we don’t often get to directly see the positive impact we have on each other.

So, when you honestly share with someone how they have affected you, you immediately open their heart, because once again, they feel SEEN, creating a robust connection.

Practice playing with these 3 compliments to see how much instant connection and chemistry can create the opportunity for so many more happy dates leading to real lasting love!

Readers: What compliment helped you score a second date? Or what compliment was given to you that opened your heart? Please share!

Love Lessons from LOST: Are you a Jack or Sawyer Girl?

2010-05-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

What will I do without my weekly fix of the hot guys on the steamy island of LOST?

I'll be honest- Jack is more my style- a gorgeous man trying to save the tribe, who's also vulnerable enough to cry- THAT steals my heart.

And drives my husband crazy, "Is that MAN crying AGAIN!" Oh yes, baby, he IS! ;)

But, give me a night alone with Sawyer, and well, I'll appreciate that opportunity as well.

But, if you're looking for a lifetime of love- Jack is your best bet.

Actually- the point is, both of these cuties have baggage, and so most likely do you.

The real question is: Which type of baggage can you most easily live with???

If you pick Sawyer, with his bad-boy good looks, you also get his prickly, sometimes deceptive, "I may be outta here in a moment" attitude.

He's sexy, and if he loves you, you can probably count on him in a pinch, but is it really worth all of the drama? That defensive bristle isn't so easy to get along with for the long haul. And his need for space, his desire to hide his true emotions, and his requirement of always having an escape route- well, those all spell trouble in paradise for you.

Besides, he always looks, so.... pinched! Where's the smile, babe?

If you find yourself routinely attracted to the Sawyer type, it's likely you end up with more than your fair share of broken hearts and it might just be time to try a little more Jack-like romance.

Jack's baggage? Well, trying to gain the approval of a father in whose eyes he was never enough, Jack has an insatiable urge to be the good guy, trying to save the world, and trying to do right by you.

He's loyal almost to a fault, because integrity is all he has to prop up his sense of doubt about his worth. This is a man who will do anything to win your love and save your relationship.

That’s the kind of baggage that’s easy to live with because it supports you in building a bond that can withstand a lifetime of LOST like challenges.

If you typically fall for men like Jack, it's safe to say that one of these days you'll hit the JACKpot and find a keeper.

While you might be tempted occasionally to stray into the sexy arms of his rival Sawyer- Jack's the man who will really have your back.

If I'm ever stranded on a tropical island- Jack's gonna be my main man!

How about you?

Start by assessing your own baggage and when you meet a potential partner, be sure to see if their baggage compliments, or aggravates your own.

If it’s smooth sailing, you can be assured of sunny seas ahead. But if you push each other’s buttons, stormy seas mean it may make sense to bail out now and save yourself!

Readers: Who would YOU choose? Please share!

Read what the writers at Tango see as the 5 LOST Love Lessons. I'm not sure I agree with them about Sawyer tho!

Are One of These 3 Biggest Blocks to Love Detouring Your Love Life?

2010-05-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

If you are still single and searching for the perfect partner you’ve got to be wondering, “WHY isn’t this happening for me?!”

Looking for true, lasting love can be frustrating and disappointing.

But when you’ve got one of the most common love blocks working it’s obstructive action in your life, real love becomes painfully impossible!

Take a peek inside to see if any of these widespread love detours are delaying the arrival of your vision of relationship bliss. Then discover a powerful way to dissolve these blocks so you can move ahead to make your dreams of love a reality.

Love Blocker 1: Feeling Unworthy

Most of us think we’ve resolved any lingering doubts about our worthiness to enjoy a great relationship. But often, there are feelings of self-doubt, low self esteem, or unattractiveness still hidden in our heart. Deep down, we’re just not convinced we’re lovable just the way we are.

Love Block Melter 1
It’s time to banish those doubts once and for all. And what’s more powerful than a room full of friends holding up a mirror showing you how awesome you really are!? So gather your closest friends and family and throw a Gratitude Party.

Have each person write a letter sand read it out loud, telling you why you deserve to have the most loving relationship. When you are surrounded by this much authentic love, it’ll melt away old wounds in a heart beat!

Love Blocker 2: Fear of Being Hurt

Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart, and after about the 10^th time, many people wall up their hearts and put in heavy-duty security to ensure they never feel that way again. But then, the good love can’t get through either and many a well-meaning partner will give up trying to break down the walls.

Love Block Melter 2

Get back in the game and start taking smart risks. Once you meet a quality potential partner, whom all your friends agree seems good for you, begin opening up slowly and surely. Share yourself like a fine novel, allowing them to see all sides of yourself, one chapter at a time.

If they start to act untrustworthy, put on the brakes and proceed with caution, only investing yourself in equal amounts to what they offer you- this ensures the relationships grows in balance- and hinders major heartbreak.

Love Blocker 3: Repeating Past Mistakes

Nothing will net you a broken heart faster than repeating the same old painful mistakes…falling for the same deadbeat type, or playing out patterns that cause pain.

It’s time to create a healthy new map to love!

Love Block Melter 3

Sit down with a trusted friend and review your past partners and relationships. Notice any commonalities that lead to destructive outcomes. Once you know where you’ve gone astray, you can set new guidelines to steer your love life in a new rewarding direction. Then keep your friend on tap to remind you when you’re straying into dangerous territory. By making small, ongoing corrections in your course, you can be onto real love around the next corner!

READERS: What's been YOUR biggest block to love? Please share!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner!

2010-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

As a dating coach, the first question my single clients always ask me is: Where do I find The One?!

Of course, if I had the real answer to that question, I’d be a psychic worth millions!

But there are some unexpected places you may not have thought about to bump into true love.

By taking a trip off the beaten path, you may just luck into the cutie you’ve been waiting for.

Try hanging out in these surprising hot spots for finding love.

And contrary to the bar scene, where you have NO idea whether that attractive person has anything in common with you, when you check out these spots- you’ll already know who might just enjoy the same things as you.

Which gives you a perfect, easy opportunity to charmingly start a conversation which may just lead you to the date of your dreams!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner

1. The Library

Everyone knows that the book lover’s sexy cousin, the trendy Bookstore, is a fine place to happen upon an attractive stranger.

But did you know how hip the library is these days?! It’s not the stuffy old library of your youth. And lots of smart singles high-tail it over there to get their monthly supply of books and books on tape.

There’s one in your neighborhood, so stop by often and browse your favorite sections. When you see someone who sparks your interest, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I see you like the same kinds of books I do, I’m looking for something really interesting. What’s your favorite?”

2. The Used Music Store

They say that the couple who jams together, stays together! That’s because there is something about the music that moves you, that belies an underlying connection.

So check out your local used music place, and see who’s browsing your favorite artists.

When you catch a cutie in your section, try this….

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I’ve worn out my favorite tracks. Looking for something new- what’s been moving you recently?”

3. The Outdoor Art Show

Summer’s coming and all over the country there are large, cool art & craft shows that draw major, savvy crowds.

It’s the perfect place to casually people watch and be on the lookout for the partner of your dreams.

When you spot someone you’d love to know inside one of the art booths, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I love these. I’m thinking about getting one of these for my mom/dad. Which one is your favorite?”

Your perfect partner could be hiding anywhere, so break out of your rut and check out new locations, where you can have fun no matter who else shows up.

And, remember, finding true love isn’t just about where you go, it’s about who you are when you get there. So be sure to put on your happy face and send out the vibe that you’re friendly, warm, and easy to approach.

Singles What's the most unexpected place you ever found a date? Please share!

A FaceBook Holiday Challenge: A Time to Spread Healing

2009-12-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

A little while back Time magazine documented the phenomenon of Raging Retrosexuals- the fact that many people are hooking up with long-lost crushes via social media, like Facebook.

Apparently Facebook is pretty darn decent at connecting you with the people you used to have sex with, or wished you used to have sex with.

As a result, it’s been unfortunately good at breaking up marriages. I’d hate to see those numbers.

In fact, it just happened to one of my husband’s best friends- whose wife suddenly up and left their family with 3 kids for her abusive high school boyfriend. Tragic. Really.

But, I’ve only been on Facebook a very short time and already I’ve seen how it can be a spring board for the opposite kind of effect: Forgiveness.

Yup, shockingly, Facebook can actually lead to healing long time wounds, instead of ripping open new ones.

One of the first emails I got through FB was from a long lost lover. Well, not really a lover per se, because we never had sex. But that doesn’t mean that we didn’t trade sexual favors for feelings of self worth.

Which of course is never a healthy thing. But I admit it, my mother never told me that boys like to use girls to satisfy certain needs. And unfortunately, I had unmet needs of my own- to feel loved, valued, worthy.

So like millions of teenage girls, then and now, I fell into the trap of trying to use sex to feel better about myself. It doesn’t work for long as many of you know.

But I tried that strategy for years, racking up a ton of heartbreak. And leaving behind a wake of young men grateful for the feel-good sex, but little else.

I eventually worked through those issues and stop giving myself away for such a low price. I never looked back angrily at those guys, I mean, I offered myself willingly. It was a lesson I needed to learn.

Yet, here unexpectedly in my brand-new Facebook Inbox was an apology of sorts. From a man who had grown up and recognized that perhaps all his actions weren’t entirely honorable. He didn’t have to do that- he certainly wasn't the worst of offenders.

It was simple and said, “Is it too late for apologies?”

It wasn’t even specific about what he was apologizing for.

Yet of course, it is never too late to be sorry for how you treated someone.

And in that moment, my heart poured open with appreciation for the gift of the simple recognition that “Yes, indeed, a long time ago, my feelings were hurt.”

I decided to allow that one simple acknowledgment to stand-in for an apology from every single man who I ever felt "used" by. And just like that, all of the long-forgotten and hidden hurts that resided in my soul melted away, released at last.

And I sent him back my own apology because it takes two to tango and no doubt my behavior had some uncomfortable effect on him.

By acknowledging the result of our choices and how they have affected others, even unintentionally, we step into integrity with our highest good and the highest good of all concerned.

We take back our power and full self-respect.

That, my friends is the power of apology and forgiveness. That sometimes, with even the slightest effort, decades of hurt can be healed. Often more deeply, widely, and profoundly then you would ever fathom to guess.

We all have this power to touch each other, to offer healing. How can we withhold it?

And apparently social media like Facebook can provide the avenue to connect with long ago companions, so that things may at long last be righted.

So, in this holiday season, where people are often saddened by the hurt and lack found in their past and present relationships, I’d like to suggest that we choose to consciously use social media for a different purpose:

To create a surge of healing throughout the land.

Let’s ride the wave of the true meaning of Christmas and take that spirit of giving, healing, and forgiveness to a new level by having the courage to bring all of our relationships back to LOVE.

Last spring I wrote a blog about the need for Completion- to go back to every relationship where something was left unsaid, undone, and to say and do those things which would put us in integrity and give us positive closure. And I gave you a powerful meditation to assist you on that journey.

Completion is needed now more than ever so that we can move into the New Year, fresh and unencumbered by the weights from the past. Only from that clean slate, can we create a truly gorgeous vision of our lives.

That’s my challenge to you this Holiday: Choose to bring back all of your relationships to Love with Completion.

And if Facebook and other social media can help you do that- than so be it.

I’m accepting my own challenge and have a list of people here with whom I want to offer a message of apology. Things I’m sorry for, things I’m grateful for. I’ll be working my way down the list until it’s Complete.

And if there are people out there who think I owe them an apology, please let me know. Sometimes we remain unaware of the extent of our behavior on others.

But with an open heart and an open mind, together, we can all create the healing upon this Earth that humanity needs at this time. One relationship at a time.

Rejoice in the spirit of the Holiday friends, because love is here to stay!

Inaugural Adventure Dating Event was a Success!

2009-10-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, we hosted the first ever, Adventure Dating at the Ranch event, at my holistic healing horse ranch, Happily Ever After, outside Denver Colorado.

We had a huge turnout with 56 singles who were courageously ready for an Adventure in Love!

As rotating teams, they got to experience 9 Adventure Stations with a variety of active, creative, and get-to-know-you challenges. All designed to have fun while you get an inside peek into each other's real personality.

Laughter was heard throughout the property!

Remember, how I told you the only reason we hosted this event was because I had the inspiration that someone was supposed to meet their soulmate???

Well, 14 matches were made that day and already several of them have taken off at a full speed run toward love!

I can't wait to hear how these new couples forge ahead on their journey toward creating their own Happily Ever After!

Check out the fun during the 3 active challenges: Noodle Golf, Blind Duo Obstacle Course, Tethered-to-Me Obstacle Challenge.

Why I am Convinced that Someone is Going to Meet Their Soulmate at Adventure Speed Dating on Sept 26!

2009-08-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

I can *almost* guarantee that someone is going to meet their soulmate on Saturday, Septmeber 26th at our inaugrual Adventure Speed Dating at the Ranch event outside Denver, CO!

"Why?," you ask. Read on.

As some of you already know, my passion is helping singles attract their soulmate. Since the time I was 12 years old, I’ve never been interested in anything else but love!

But honestly, before now I’ve never been interested in hosting big events like this one. Helping people one on one and in small groups is more my cup of tea.

Then, inspiration struck.

Funny, really.

I was listening to a meditation tape so I should have been focused on it, but I found myself thinking about my friend and colleague Mary Jo Fay, who hosts bi-weekly singles events (Denver 's Best Dating, Mating, and Relating Group). My immediate thought was: “I’d never want to host an event like that.”

Instantly, however, the idea of Adventure Speed Dating popped into my mind. Actually, the details of it flooded my brain. So much so that I couldn’t finish my meditation!!!

I let the ideas come in and settled on, “Hmm, that’s interesting. Sounds like a great concept. But I have no interest in hosting an event.”

And I put the idea to rest.

Only it wouldn’t let me rest. Literally.

For several nights, I would fall asleep, only to wake up an hour later. Once again, details for the event poured in, one idea after another.

“Ok, Ok, I get it, it’s a fantastic idea. But still, I don’t want to do it,” was my reply.

By the third night of this incessant information download, I scribbled down the details and I finally pleaded with the powers that be: “FINE! I’ll do it if you will let me get back to sleep!”

With that promise came a sudden knowing that went like this, “Great, because someone is supposed to meet their soulmate at this event, so we really need you to keep your word!”

So, here it is, my contribution to helping soulmates find each other. It’s bound to happen, otherwise the idea would have died a cold and lonely death the first time it came to me.

Because I’ve learned there is no coincidence- only serendipity. Call it what you will- intuition, gut feeling, a hunch, Universal Guidance. When it comes in strongly, I’ve discovered you are a fool to ignore it.

And besides, now I am totally jazzed because I think, "What's cooler than helping soulmates find each other, especially if it's fun to boot?!"

And so, that's how Adventure Speed Dating at the Ranch was born. And I can’t wait to see who gets to meet their soulmate!

If I told you the story of how I met my soulmate, Greg, you’d believe that serendipity plays a role. Now that I have that amazing kind of love in my life, I’m committed to helping everyone else find it too.

So, if you’ve found your way to this web page, if you’ve heard about this event in any way at all, there is probably a good reason. Consider yourself Universally Guided to be there. And I’m extending to you a warm, personal invitation.

I, for one, listened to the Guidance (even if it was unwillingly at first!). I did my part. Now all you have to do is show up too!

Then we can both laugh at how neither one of us originally wanted to come, but heck yea, it was fun and wasn’t it the best decision we ever made!

After all, I’d hate for you to miss your soulmate!

So, head on over to reserve your spot before they all fill up: Adventure Dating at the Ranch.

Here’s to soulmates coming together in perfect harmony,

Dr. Jenn

PS. By the way, if you have a friend who has been waiting, wishing, and hoping to find a soulmate who doesn’t seem to be showing up- now may be the time to beg, plead, or cajole them into coming with you. Because you may very well be the human angel designated to lead them to their soulmate. You may be the link that brings them together!

So, He Didn't Call When He Said He Would? Using the Handy, "I Noticed..." Statement

2009-08-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say that this hardly ever happens, so don't worry about it. But people not keeping their word happens all the time, especially when dating!

So, what to do when he doesn't call when he said he would? That's what one of my clients wanted to know recently.

Here's what I told her.

Typically- if someone does something like this once, you can blow it off (if you want)- but if it happens more than once, then don't ever ignore it!

Ignoring things never makes them go away- it usually makes them worse!

Why? Because when someone does something more than once, they are showing you a pattern of behavior. And patterns indicate their underlying personality.

And when YOU put up with a pattern of behavior from someone- you set up the expectation that the behavior is ok with you.

Which means: You'll get more of the same behavior in the future.

So, when someone doesn't keep their word and that's not ok with you (as it shouldn't be!), then it's worth addressing.

Lucky you, handling these supposedly "uncomfortable" topics, can be super simple when you know how to use the "I Noticed..." Strategy.

Here's how to stand up for yourself and set clear, healthy boundaries, right from the beginning with the people in your life, love life included.

Using the "I Noticed..." Strategy

Step 1: Find a quiet, calm time to bring up your concern.

That means you are relaxed and no longer ticked off.
AND, it seems like a convenient, easy-going time for your friend.

Step 2: Bring up your concern gracefully, casually using "I noticed..."

Just casually work into your conversation something like:
"Hey, I noticed ... that you were going to call on Tues but I didn't hear from you till today...."

Step 3: Pause and WAIT for their response.

Just let your "I noticed" statement hang out there for a moment and they will have to say something about it. Usually you will learn alot from what the person says next.

Either you'll get a useful explanation and/or apology, or you may get a bunch of BS.

Either way, you are learning more about this person to help you decide if this is indeed someone you want in your life.

You may chat a bit from here, or...

Step 4: Make a clear request by setting your boundary.

Often, it's helpful to end your discussion with a clear request about what you need.

Something like, "Hey that's cool this time, but just so you know, keeping my word is really important to me, so I'd appreciate it if we both kept our word to each other."

Right here, you've made your expectations clear. You are setting the boundary for how it's ok to treat you.

Plus- by putting it in "we" terms, you make it clear that you aren't pointing the finger, this isn't only about THEM.

It about the two of you together, in relationship to each other.

So, it's more about entering into an explicit agreement to pay attention to each other's needs, rather than a slap on the wrist.

From here, things will either go swimmingly in the future, or not so much- if they aren't the right person for you.

Step 5: Follow up the next time

Hopefully, your new expectation will clear up any misunderstanding and things go full speed ahead. But if your new partner can't or won't respect your request- then you pretty much have your decision made for you: They just aren't a good fit for you.

If it happens again, try something like:

"Gee, I noticed that even though we talked about keeping our word to each other, it seems like that just isn't happening. What do you think is up with that?"

These types of conversations either bring you closer as you come to a deeper understanding of each other, or they drive you apart because you simply don't see the world or your relationship the same way.

However it goes, it brings the Gift of Clarity to you so you know how best to move forward towards your goal of creating a love that lasts a lifetime!

Readers: Try out the "I noticed..." statement with someone in your life today and let us know how it goes!

Key to Attraction: Are You Radiating Brilliance?

2009-07-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

I was out the other weekend at the nightclub Proof- it’s a popular Denver dance spot for the 40+ crowd.

I was chatting with some folks about what it takes to attract your soulmate, or heck, even your next date, when I noticed a very interesting woman on the dance floor.

I was drawn to her not because of her extraordinary good looks, but because of her GLOW.

She had an effervescent charm that exuded from every pore of her. She was not the youngest, the most scantily clad, or the best looking woman in the place- but she was clearly, unabashedly ENJOYING herself.

The result?

I almost couldn’t take my eyes off of her- I loved watching her dance because her warm, happy, playful spirit showed through.

I would bet you that every man in the place noticed her the way I noticed her- because she was shining such brilliance you couldn’t help but be attracted to her radiance!

Sure, it didn’t hurt that she was wearing a cute outfit that included a fashionable skirt- but what was so compelling about her was the relaxed, confident, fun-loving vibe she put off so easily, effortlessly.

That’s the Soulmate Magnet Vibe.

And when you master stepping into your Best, most Authentic Self, you’ll be able to shine that radiant brilliance and attract the attention of great, emotionally available partners who are ready to share themselves with you.

Readers: What helps you step into your own Brilliant Radiance? And how do others respond to you? Please share!

If you are ready to own your Best, Authentic Self and attract your perfect partner, skip on over to www.MySoulmateSolution.com for all of the resources you need for support on your soulmate journey!

Freeing Yourself: Listen to the Embrace Your Emotions Meditation

2009-06-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

Most of us spend a lot of energy protecting ourselves from our emotions: denying, resisting, repressing, distracting- anything but allowing them!

But the key to peace and happiness is learning to embrace ALL of your emotions.

This can be especially tricky when dating- which is known as being an emotional roller coaster ride of highs and lows.

But if you can practice welcoming all of your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, they will pass more quickly- leaving you in that peaceful, calm place that attracts a great partner!

So discover how to stop struggling with your emotions and rest in that open, warm, loving space that will invite wonderful people and opportunities into your life.

Listen Now: 19 min

Join us every Monday at noon, Mountain time for another great Meditation Monday!

NEW Call In NUMBER: 218-862-7200
Access Code : 909472

Readers: How did accepting a difficult emotion open up space for attraction in your life? Please share!

Attracting Love from the Inside Out

2009-05-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

So things aren't going as well as you hoped in your dating life?!

Recently on her blog, Ann Strong shared an amazing secret:

How to feel anything you are missing, anytime, from the inside out!

It was so smart, I had to share it with you.

Here’s what she says:

“Working with the simple yet powerful concept that I already have everything I need inside me, I notice what’s causing the fear or anxiety and then find a way to know it from the inside rather than expect it from the outside.”

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!

Especially when it comes to attracting love!

So, how to work this process?

Let’s look at a common dating example.

You’ve been trying online dating and you are getting zip, zero response. You log on for the millionth time and NOPE, still no tempting emails from sexy suitors.

So, you tune inward and wonder:

Why do I SO want to be “discovered” online?

What will a hello email do for me?

And you notice:

I want to feel wanted! Loved!

I want to feel attractive!

I want to feel hope!

Great, so pick the one you would like to work with (or all of them):

How can you feel loved, how can you be Love, right now?

How can you feel attractive, how can you be Beauty, right now?

How can you feel hope, how can you be Hope, right now?

Now, you may need to be creative next. But I am sure you can discover something, anything that helps you step into feeling loved, attractive, or hopeful! So, go do that now!

- Maybe you always feel loved when you chat with your best friend, but it’s been too long- call her.

- Maybe you embody love when you volunteer with homeless pets- get into action.

- Maybe you feel beautiful when you put on that special red dress and go dancing- grab a friend and go.

- Maybe sitting in a gorgeous flower garden helps you step into Beauty- GO!

- Maybe listening to your favorite uplifting piece of music always inspires in you hope- put it on!

- Maybe every time you tutor your niece, you both feel hopeful- get over there!

You get the idea!

The beauty of this work is that you Take Back your Power!

You no longer accept being a “victim” of a withholding Universe.

You refuse to wait for something to happen to make you all right.

The other gift of this work is that it immediately takes you out of a yucky, dark place into a sweet, light place.

AND, of course, that’ll make you much more attractive to the opposite sex. Bringing you that much closer to finding real love!

The key here is that once you shine something from within, it’ll show up on the outside in your life- ready to match what you already are!

So, take back your power and start living from the inside out today! Your love life will thank you!

Readers: How has taking back your power helped something show up in your life? Please share!

Read Ann's original post: Knowing my security from the inside

Is it Time for Spring Cleaning?: The Power of Completion

2009-05-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Does it feel like something is holding your love life back, but you're not sure what?

You are probably being sabotaged by a Lack of Completion.

When things from your past are not fully completed, it’s like there is a heavy anchor chaining you to the past, keeping you from moving full steam ahead to attract your soulmate.

Almost worst, it’s like you’ve left little pieces of yourself back there, so that now, you no longer feel whole, complete.

In his book, Five Wishes, Gay Hendricks talks about his wish for "completion." For him that meant: "As I go through life, there's nothing significant I leave unsaid or undone."

On his healing journey- he goes back and says and does all of the things he knew he should have done- so that he could be in full integrity, in the present. He found that he felt 100 pounds lighter.

That lightness & wholeness is what you need to attract your soulmate.

Without that completion, it’s like you’ve dropped dozens of small and larger anchors in the past- all sucking your energy, vitality, and your ability to be a soulmate magnet!

So, it’s time for Spring Cleaning.

But this will be unlike any spring cleaning you’ve done before!

This spring, I challenge you to do a Completion Clean Up.

Our goal: To clean up anything that hasn’t been completed from your past.

We’re not necessarily talking about all the things on your current To-Do list here.

Similar to Gay Hendrick’s concept, we’re talking about all of the emotionally important things you’ve left unsaid and undone, ESPECIALLY related to past relationships.

I’m encouraging you to wipe your love slate clean by creating closure in every major relationship you’ve ever had. If there is anything you still need to say or do, to once and for all, KNOW you’ve done what you needed to do- NOW is the time to do it!

It’s only from a place clear of past attachments or weights, that we can generate the clarity and freedom to move forward and attract a healthy, happy love that lasts. Liberated from the chains of the past, completion will set you free to create soulmate love!

I invite you to create your own Completion List now and act on it!

5 Steps to Completion

1. Write down a list of all of the major or emotionally significant relationships you’ve ever had in your life. (Or anything else that springs to mind that needs attention for closure.)

2. One by one, consider your experiences with each person and wonder:

Is there anything I’ve left unsaid or undone with this person?
Is there anything that still feels bad to me about the way I’ve left it?
Is there anything I need to do for closure?
Is there anything I need to do to be in full integrity?

3. Write down a clear statement of anything that needs completion. Include what you intend to do AND a date by which you commit to doing it.

If it's not possible to get in contact with someone- don't skip them! Try one of the following: do the process in your mind, have a ritual, write a letter you never send or have someone bear witness to what you wanted to say or do.

4. After each time you do something on your list, make some notes about how it feels to have done that completion.

Remember, a successful completion isn’t really about how the other person responds to you (you won’t always get a welcome reception!), but about YOU doing what YOU need for YOU to feel like YOU are in integrity.

5. Once you’ve finished acting on your entire Completion List, it’s time to have a ritual to cut the chains from those heavily weighted past anchors and to call back all of the little pieces of yourself you left behind- so you stand free and whole in the Now.

In fact, next Monday, May 18^th, at noon Mountain Time we’ll be doing a Completion Visualization for Meditation Monday. If this idea of Completion is compelling to you, I encourage you to attend and get a jump start on your list. If you can’t make it, we’ll have it posted on the blog for you to listen to later.

NEW Call In NUMBER: 218-862-7200
Access Code : 909472

This spring, create the space for clear sailing ahead! Give yourself the gift of a clean slate so you’ll be ready to attract your real soulmate and create the love you deserve!

Readers: Let me know how your Spring Completion Clean Up goes!! And if you run into any problems, I'll help you troubleshoot!

Enjoy Effortless Being Meditation

2009-05-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

Did you know that trying TOO HARD, can actually keep you from finding love?

Discover the power of effortless being- that place of grace where you let go of struggle and float in infinite trust that flows you right where you want to go!

Your soulmate is waiting, stop working so hard to get there and you'll arrive much sooner!

Listen now, 15 min.

Join us next Monday, May 18th for The Momentum of Completion

Do you sometimes feel heavy? Weighted down?
Like something is holding you back, but you are not sure what?

You are probably being sabotaged by a Lack of Completion.

When things from your past are fully completed, you are free to move full steam ahead to attract your soulmate!

Come sever the anchors holding you back, and discover the light, free, and energized way of being that comes from Full Completion!

Noon, Mountain Time
**** NEW Call In NUMBER: 218-862-7200
Access Code : 909472

Join Us for: Effortless Being

2009-05-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

You're invited to join us next Monday, April 4th, for another transformative and powerful Meditation.

I'll be leading: Effortless Being

Is your life full of effort? Full of struggle? Yet, you're not getting anywhere?

That's because all the stress of straining actually gets in your way of attaining your heart's desire.

Join us, to discover the power of effortless being- that place of grace where you let go of struggle and float in infinite trust that flows you right where you want to go!

Your soulmate is waiting, stop working so hard to get there and you'll arrive much sooner!

Noon, Mountain Time
Call In: 218-844-0870
Access: 355622#

Listen to Meditation: Access Your Inner Wise Woman!

2009-04-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to Access Your Inner Wise Woman for all of the strength, wisdom, and courage you need?

Join us on this delightful meditation journey guided by Carole Cross of www.wisewomen.org.

In 2 minutes, a part of our call helped me release a chronic pain I've been struggling with for a week!

Listen now: 27 minutes

New Pick Up Place? The Farmer's Market!

2009-04-20T11:37:00.001-07:00

Sure, there are old tales of meeting your soulmate in the frozen food aisle, making eye contact over a freezer filled with frozen pizza's.

But honestly, how much conversation really happens among strangers at the grocery store?!

I'm thinking the times of finding love at the supermarket are pretty outdated.

But, have you tried your local Farmer's Market lately!!

Research shows that people have 10 times more conversations at farmer's markets than at grocery stores!

The informal and casual environment, plus the outdoor setting and direct contact with growers sets the stage for social interaction. So most people are loosened up, making approaching them much easier!

Spring's coming , so maybe it's time for you to check out your farmer's market for some cuties! Your soulmate may just be checking out the freshness of those peppers beside you!

Make some eye contact, shine out a bright smile, and ask them how they check for ripeness!

Readers: Let me know how it goes!

Listen to Meditation: Clearing the Blocks that Bind You

2009-04-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

I love this meditation!

Personally, it has helped me release many energetic blocks in my body, while at the same time offering insight into the deeper nature of the issue, as well as leaving me with a new healing image to work with over time to cement the release!

What more can you ask for!

Give it a try today. Listen now: 17 min.

The more you release what is no longer serving you, the quicker your soulmate can stride right into your life!

Join us on Monday, April 27th.
Special Guest Lead Meditation:
Accessing Your Wise Woman
Lead by Carole Cross of www.wisewomen.org.

Noon, Mountain Time
Call In: 218-844-0870
Access: 355622#

Listen to the Journey Ride Meditation!

2009-04-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

Hey Singles, this is my favorite meditation!

You'll be going on a Journey Ride on the back of a magnificent horse, up a mystical mountain. Get ready to be transformed as you release everything that no longer serves you and reclaim your natural gifts and abilities.

You won't be the same after listening to this one!

Listen now: 22 min.

I invite you to join us for Meditation Monday on April 6th at Noon, Mountain Time.

Call In: 218-844-0870
Access: 355622#

I'll be leading another powerful meditation:

Reclaiming Your Inner I

Come with us to release a Little i, a part of you that's been holding you back from your own greatness. Then allow your Big I to guide you back to wholeness, the state that invites true love to arrive into your life.

No More Heart-Breaking Breakups!: This week's Giveaway

2009-04-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, break ups suck!

But they hurt even worse when you aren't smart and savvy with your dating style!

When you know HOW to date, break ups can be graceful, with much less heart ache.

And with less time wasted- you'll find your soulmate that much sooner!

Plus, you'll discover how to never make the same mistakes again!

Last Week to Enter & Win!

So, to learn everything you need to know about dating to attract your soulmate, enter to win your 3 month dating coaching membership to My Soulmate Solution.com- a $150 value.

Here's what one winner, Cindy from GA, has to say about My Soulmate Solution:

"Your website is awesome. I have read many LOA books, but your site is the guided action that is needed! I am finally feeling some excitement and hope for my future thanks to you!"

My Soulmate Solution has a whole section on breakups- to help you learn how to do it with grace. See it here: Break Up Survival

To enter, email drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com with your worst or most enlightening break up story and you could be our next winner! Winner randomly selected on Sunday from weekly entries.

Bonus Giveaway!
Besides your 3 month coaching membership- the winner also receives:

E-Book: From Nightmare Break-Up to Life of Your Dreams in Six Easy & Proven Steps, from Katherine CHE, http://www.cultivatorofjoy.com/

This is the last week of the Soulmate Revolution Party!
Your last chance to win $150 coaching for FREE.
Enter to start attracting your soulmate today!

Listen to the Missing Piece Meditation with EFT

2009-03-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

We had another great meditation on Monday with Chip and Julie Engelmann from www.ChipEFT.com.

This meditation has two parts.

First, listen to Chip lead you through an EFT tapping session to remove your blocks to getting the most out of your meditations, anytime.

Then let Julie guide you through The Missing Piece meditation to allow you to step into whatever energy you need most right now!

Both are transformative!

Join us Monday March 30th as I lead my favorite meditation: The Journey Ride.

Noon, Mountain Time
Call In: 218-844-0870
Access: 355622#

Come along with us for the ride of your life as you release everything that no longer serves you and reclaim your natural gifts.

I guarantee that this is one ride you won't forget!

Dating After Divorce: This Week's Giveaway!

2009-03-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Are you back to dating after divorce? Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's frustrating.

However you feel about it right now, it's your greatest opportunity to attract your soulmate and create a love that lasts a lifetime!

Plus, when you know what you're doing, it'll be a grand adventure leading to the ultimate success: Soulmate Love.

So, don't worry, I've got your back and you can learn everything you need to know about how to successfully hop back into the dating pool, easily, for FREE!

Enter to win your 3 month dating coaching membership to My Soulmate Solution.com- a $150 value.

Here's what one winner, Cindy from GA, has to say about My Soulmate Solution:

"Your website is awesome. I have read many LOA books, but your site is the guided action that is needed! I am finally feeling some excitement and hope for my future thanks to you!"

This week's theme is Dating After Divorce- so email drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com with why you need help dating after divorce and you could be our next winner! Winner randomly selected on Sunday from weekly entries.

Bonus Giveaway!
Besides your 3 month coaching membership- the winner also receives:

- E-Booklet: Simple Self-Care Magic for Women: 70 Tips, from Joanie Winberg, http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/

- Book: Love’s Secret: Live Your Life in Love, from Annie B. Lawrence, EFT expert. http://www.retreatandheal.com/

To see full details for the contest giveaway and the weekly topics visit this post: Soulmate Giveaway

Next week's your LAST chance to win-

March 30-April 5
Week 4: No More Heart-Breaking Break Ups

Meditation Monday with EFT- Back Again

2009-03-20T14:50:00.001-07:00

Join us on Monday March 23rd for another stellar Meditation Monday.

Noon, Mountain Time, 2 pm Eastern, 11am Pacific

Call In: 218-844-0870
Access Code: 355622#

We've got another super guest Chip Engelmann, MA, CNC., and his wife Julie. Chip's an Emotional Freedom Techniques and Law of Attraction Specialist. And Julie's a master at Guided Imagery. Their motto: Life is too short not to enjoy the heck out of it!

Last time we did EFT, people loved it!

So join us as Chip leads us in a special EFT session that will allow you to get the most out of any Meditation you do from now on! Followed by Julie leading another inspirational meditation designed to help you step into your Best Life.

And don't forget to enter to win your 3 month dating coaching membership to My Soulmate Solution.com- a $150 value. We're giving away 3 more memberships! This week the theme is Online Dating Makeovers- so email drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com with your favorite on-line dating story gone awry and you could be our next winner!

Here's what last weeks winner, Cindy from GA, has to say about My Soulmate Solution:

"Your website is awesome. I have read many LOA books, but your site is the guided action that is needed! I am finally feeling some excitement and hope for my future thanks to you!"

Next week- enter your Dating After Divorce story to win! Extra bonuses included.

For more info, see full Soulmate Revolution Contest Details.

Cause we're not stopping until YOU find YOUR soulmate!!

Thursday's Soulmate Secret: Imagination

2009-03-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.” - Albert Einstein

To attract your soulmate most quickly- you must Hold the Vision of this most beautiful love in your life, now.

You must see it, feel it, taste it.
It must become real to you.

And you must hold this vision as much as possible through out each day.
Returning to the sweetness of it often.

What you see in your imagination is what will be unfolding in your life.

Today- Hold the Vision and Know that it is indeed, on the way!

Are you a My Soulmate Solution member?
Read a related article: 2:8 Soulmate Visualization

Readers: What has shown up in your life as a result of Holding the Vision? Please share!

Get Lucky on St. Patrick's Day!

2009-03-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to get lucky and find YOUR soulmate this year?

Let me help you make this dream a reality with a FREE $150 3-month Enhanced Membership to MySoulmateSolution.com.

Here's what last weeks winner, Cindy from GA, has to say about My Soulmate Solution:

"Your website is awesome. I have read many LOA books, but your site is the guided action that is needed! I am finally feeling some excitement and hope for my future thanks to you! "

One lucky single who truly wants to create a love that will last a lifetime will get a self-guided dating coaching curriculum, coaching calls, and online forums- giving you access to your own dating expert all the time!

It's like I'm in your pocket giving you personal guidance to help you find your soulmate!!

This week's theme:
March 16-22
Week 2: An Online Dating Makeover

Email us with a short paragraph about why you’d love some help with online dating. Share with us your favorite on-line dating gone-awry story! mailto:online!drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com

My Soulmate Solution has 2 whole sections devoted to helping you meet your soulmate online!

- Learn how to write an outstanding profile that will get you results and
- Discover the ins and outs of making online dating work for you!

I met my soulmate online and you can too!

Winner Receives:
- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to http://www.mysoulmatesolution .com/

Plus,
- E-book: “Winning at the Online Dating Game" from Dating Blogger, The Dating Goddess, http://www.datinggoddess.com/

We're doing this every week in March with a new theme.
Winner randomly selected on Sunday.
Then we start all over again next week!

If you've been dating after divorce- then stay tuned to enter next week's giveaway, which also includes:

- E-Booklet: Simple Self-Care Magic for Women: 70 Tips, from Joanie Winberg, http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/

- Book: Love’s Secret: Live Your Life in Love, from Annie B. Lawrence, EFT expert. http://www.retreatandheal.com/

To see full details for the contest giveaway and the weekly topics visit this post: Soulmate Giveaway

Join us next Monday for another stellar guided visualization, with EFT! Start your week off stepping into the Great Feeling Space of Positive Possibilities!
Monday, March 23rd, at Noon MST (11 am PST, 2 EST)

Topic: TBA
Call In: 218-844-0870
Access Code: 355622#

Tuesday's Soulmate Secret: Integrity

2009-03-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

"I AM honoring my word and agreements with grace and ease." – divineexpressions.com

This quote is about standing in your Integrity- honoring your Best Self.

As you date- you attract others who match your level of Integrity.

Thus, when you date with your Integrity front and center, your soulmate will be naturally attracted to your bright, strong, reliable, and positive light.

Are you holding your Integrity?
Or do you let yourself get away with the little things that “don’t really matter?”

Honor your Best Self and your Best Partner will arrive.

You do this most easily by engaging only in Inspired Action- only saying and committing to what is truly in your highest good.

Today- live your Integrity with honesty.

Are you a My Soulmate Solution Member?
Read a related article: 3.9 Inspired Action

Readers: How has being honest and keeping your word improved your dating life? Please share!

Thursday's Soulmate Secret: Coincidence?

2009-03-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

“Your true path is revealed the moment you recognize coincidences as miracles along your journey.” - Unknown

Really, there are no coincidences.
Every seemingly random event is the Universe working her serendipitous magic!

When you follow the trail of coincidences and act on them, they may lead you right to your soulmate.

At the very least- they are leading you to the next lesson that will prepare you for your soulmate to arrive!

Are you noticing the coincidences around you?
Do you shirk them off or are you acting on them?

Today, open your eyes to the miracles of coincidence happening all around you.
Dare to follow them where they will lead you!
Embrace the magic.

Are you a My Soulmate Solution Member?
Read a Related Article: 1.2 Bless the Broken Road

Readers: What coincidences have led you closer to your soulmate? Please share!

Tuesday's Soulmate Secret: Storms as Gift?

2009-03-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

"When the storm blows hard you must stand firm, for it is not trying to knock you down, it is really trying to teach you to be strong.” – Unknown

Mark my words, dating will be filled with circumstances that you used to wish were different.

But now, you can make a different choice- because you know better.

You know that every time something isn’t as nice as you’d like it to be- it’s actually a gift.
It’s an opportunity for you to step into your Best Self.

And what’s better than that!? A chance to know yourself as a loving, kind, optimistic, and accepting person.

That’s the storm, helping you be strong- helping you glow the light of your Best Self.

That light will attract your soulmate.

Today, let any storm turn your inner light on!

Are you a My Soulmate Solution Member?
Read a related article: 1.7 Make Every Date Great

Readers: How has a love storm taught you how to be strong? Please share!

Listen to the 'Shine Your Soul' Meditation to Attract Your Soulmate!

2009-03-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

My favorite Law of Attraction coach, Jeannette Maw, led a wonderful meditation today. It's very centering and grounding and brings you in touch with the light of your soul.

Remember, it's your soul that will attract your soulmate, not your ego or your personality.

So when you shine your soul's light, strong & bright, into the world- your soulmate is going to arrive much sooner!

This is a great meditation to do before you go out to any singles event or on first dates! Or heck, every morning!

Check it out now, 25 min.

And because today is the start of the Soulmate Revolution Launch Party- We're also giving away a copy of Jeannette's powerful new e-book: The Art of Self Love.

Each week in March we're giving away a FREE $150 3-month Enhanced Membership to MySoulmateSolution.com to one lucky single who truly wants to create a love that will last a lifetime!

At My Soulmate Solution you have a self-guided dating coaching curriculum, coaching calls, and online forums- giving you access to your own dating expert all the time! It's like I'm in your pocket giving you personal guidance to help you find your soulmate!!

This week's theme: Why you are SO ready to find your soulmate- THIS YEAR!

To enter this week & also win a copy of Jeannette's e-book The Art of Self Love, send your short story to drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com.

We'll randomly select a winner on Sunday.
Then start all over again next week!

If you've been having online dating trouble- then stay tuned to enter next week's giveaway, which also includes the e-book: “Winning at the Online Dating Game" fromDating Blogger, The Dating Goddess, http://www.datinggoddess.com/

To see full details for the contest giveaway and the weekly topics visit this post: Soulmate Giveaway

Join us next Monday for another stellar guided visualization! Start your week off stepping into the Great Feeling Space of Positive Possibilites!

Monday, March 16th, at Noon MST (11 am PST, 2 EST)
Topic: TBA

Call In: 218-844-0870
Access Code: 355622#

Win a "Dating Coach in Your Pocket" for 3 Months!!

2009-03-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

March is the Soulmate Revolution Launch Party !

Once a week for 4 weeks, enter to WIN your FREE 3 month exclusive Enhanced Membership to My Soulmate Solution.com!

That's a $150 value. But really- finding your soulmate is priceless!

Plus, there's a new bonus prize each week.

Because we're not stopping till you find your soulmate!

How to Enter: Each week, email me at drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com with your favorite short, dating story related to the below Theme of the Week! Winner will be picked by random selection.

Your FREE 3-month Gift membership is a $150 value and includes:

- A step-by step guide to everything you ever need to know about dating

- Ask your questions and get personal advice to solve all of your dating issues- via coaching calls, and online forums

- Support from singles just like you

- Ongoing motivation, inspiration, and guidance that keeps you ON TRACK to finding your soulmate in record time!

The solution to all of your dating dilemmas is only a click or call away and it's totally FREE!

Start Attracting Your Soulmate Next Week!

Contest Details

************

March 9-15

Week 1: Why You Are Totally Ready to Meet the Love of Your Life

Email us with a short paragraph about why you are SO ready to find your soulmate, this year!

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to the Dating Coaching Community, http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com/

Plus,

- E-Book: The Art of Self-Love- Your Essential Key to Successful Manifesting, from Jeanette Maw, Law of Attraction Coach, http://www.goodvibecoaching.com/

*************

March 16-22
Week 2: An Online Dating Makeover

Email us with a short paragraph about why you’d love some help with online dating. Share with us your favorite on-line dating gone-awry story!

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com/

Plus,

- E-book: “Winning at the Online Dating Game" from
Dating Blogger, The Dating Goddess, http://www.datinggoddess.com/

*************

March 23-29

Week 3: Dating After Divorce

Email us with a short paragraph about why you’d like help dating after divorce. Share with us your biggest frustration about leaping back into the dating pool after divorce.

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com/

Plus,

- E-Booklet: Simple Self-Care Magic for Women: 70 Tips, from Joanie Winberg, http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/

- Book: Love’s Secret: Live Your Life in Love, from Annie B. Lawrence, EFT expert. http://www.retreatandheal.com/

******************

March 30-April 5

Week 4: No More Heart-Breaking Break Ups

Email us with a short paragraph about your most painful or enlightening break up. Remember, even the worst break up is a door opening for you to find your soulmate!

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com/

Plus,

- E-Book: From Nightmare Break-Up to Life of Your Dreams in Six Easy & Proven Steps, from Katherine CHE, http://www.cultivatorofjoy.com/

Enter NOW Because we're not stopping till YOU find your soulmate!
Join in on the fun!

Each week, send your short story to drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com

Start Attracting Your Soulmate today!!

Thursday's Soulmate Secret: The Super Powers of Complaint

2009-03-05T16:54:00.000-08:00

Complaints are affirmations and prayers which attract that which you’re complaining about. - Doreen Virtue

Today, pay attention very carefully to all of the complaints and frustrations you are voicing about dating, about your love life.

Since your thoughts create your reality- the more you focus on what you DON’T LIKE- the more you create things you don’t want.

I love Doreen’s quote because it reminds us that our negative thoughts are just as powerful and come just as true, as the positive thoughts we offer as affirmations or prayer.

Would you create an affirmation that says?:

Please, all the good men are taken….
Man, no one will ever love me….
I never meet anyone I’m attracted to…
How will I ever find The One…

I hope not!
But every time you make those complaints or think & speak those frustrations- you are bringing them more and more into your reality.

Today, focus your attention on all that is right in your world.
Focus on appreciation.
These are the qualities that will attract your soulmate.

Are you a My Soulmate Solution member?
Read a related article: 2.1 Understanding the Law of Attraction.

Readers: Which of your complaints have you watched come true? Please share!

Listen to the Unconditional Love Meditation: Using the Power of Pink Roses

2009-03-03T10:47:00.001-08:00

Katherine CHE, meditation and life coach, led a powerful Meditation Monday on March 2 using the symbol of Pink Roses to help us step into an open heart with unconditional love.

Boy, I could feel that blossoming rose opening my heart, wide and free, ready for more love in my life. It's short & sweet! I encourage you to give it a try now, 22 min.

Step into the Great Feeling Space of Positive Possibilities for 4 weeks in a row and notice the difference in your love life!

Join us next Monday, March 9nd, at Noon MST (11 am PST, 2 EST)

Reconnecting With Your Creative Power

Led by Jeanette Maw, Law of Attraction Coach

Call In: 218-844-0870

Access Code: 355622#

Please note: There is no charge for the Session, but there will be normal long distance charges to your phone, if you are not in the 309 area code.

Ready to start attracting your soulmate now???

WIN your FREE 3 month Membership to My Soulmate Solution.com!

Join the Soulmate Revolution Launch Party and win your exclusive membership.

Plus, there's a new bonus prize each week! Because we're not stopping till you find your soulmate!

Each week, email me at drjenn@mysoulmatesolution.com with your favorite short, dating story related to the Theme of the Week- the best story wins!!

Start Attracting Your Soulmate Next Week!

March 9-15
Week 1: Why You Are Totally Ready to Meet the Love of Your Life

Email us with a short paragraph about why you are SO ready to find your soulmate, this year! The best paragraph wins:

Winner Receives:
- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to the Dating Coaching Community, My Soulmate Solution.com

Plus,
- E-Book: The Art of Self-Love- Your Essential Key to Successful Manifesting, from Jeanette Maw, Law of Attraction Coach, http://www.goodvibecoaching.com/

March 16-22
Week 2: An Online Dating Makeover

Email us with a short paragraph about why you’d love some help with online dating. Share with us your favorite on-line dating gone-awry story and the best one wins!

Winner Receives:
- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to the Dating Coaching Community, My Soulmate Solution.com

Plus,
- E-book: “Winning at the Online Dating Game" from Dating Blogger, The Dating Goddess, http://www.datinggoddess.com/

March 23-29
Week 3: Dating After Divorce

Email us with a short paragraph about why you’d like help dating after divorce. Share with us your biggest frustration about leaping back into the dating pool after divorce.

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to the Dating Coaching Community, My Soulmate Solution.com

- E-Booklet: Simple Self-Care Magic for Women: 70 Tips, from Joanie Winberg, http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/

Plus,
- Book: Love’s Secret: Live Your Life in Love, from Annie B. Lawrence, EFT expert. http://www.retreatandheal.com/

March 30-April 5
Week 4: No More Heart-Breaking Break Ups

Email us with a short paragraph about your most painful or enlightening break up. The best story wins because even the worst break up is a door opening for you to find your soulmate!

Winner Receives:

- A free 3-month Enhanced Membership to the Dating Coaching Community, My Soulmate Solution.com

Plus,
- E-Book: From Nightmare Break-Up to Life of Your Dreams in Six Easy & Proven Steps, from Katherine CHE, http://www.cultivatorofjoy.com/

Because we're not stopping till YOU find your soulmate! Join us!

Listen to the Heart Opening Meditation

2009-02-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

We had an awesome inaugural Meditation Monday, led by Annie B Lawrence, who finished off the Heart Opening Meditation with a great guided EFT session to further melt away obstacles. Thanks Annie for working your magic!

Here's what a couple of listeners had to say:

"The guided meditation was awesome! I got a lot out of doing it, and the results stayed with me all day." - JM

"I really got into Annie's meditation and opened all channels for love to come into my life. I have done some EFT before and that tapping part was great too. THANKS for offering that!! I plan to continue to do the EFT exercises every day to remain open to a love connection! " - MM

If there is any possibility that some hurt from your past could be holding you back, or you just want to ensure you're 100% open for your soulmate to arrive, I invite you to listen to the session here, 45 min.

Normally, attendance at Meditation Monday is reserved for My Soulmate Solution members, but for 4 weeks during the Soulmate Revolution Celebration, we're throwing the doors wide open and inviting anyone serious about finding their soulmate.

Step into the Great Feeling Space of Positive Possibilities for 4 weeks in a row and notice the difference in your love life!

Join us next Monday, March 2nd, at Noon MST (11 am PST, 2 EST)

Unconditional Self-Acceptance: The First Key to Soulmate Attraction

Led by Katherine CHE, Meditation Coach

Call In: 218-844-0870

Access Code: 355622#

Loving the self is a pre-requisite for finding true love, but many of us struggle with aspects of ourselves, withholding full acceptance. Allow this meditation to bring you more completely into unconditional acceptance, which is the first key to soulmate attraction!

Please note: There is no charge for the Session, but there will be normal long distance charges to your phone, if you are not in the 309 area code.

Stay tuned for more info about how to win your FREE 3-month membership to My Soulmate Solution during our March Madness Soulmate Revolution Celebration Party. Because we're not stopping till you find your soulmate!

You’re Invited to Open Your Heart to Love!

2009-02-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

Join us for My Soulmate Solution.com's inaugural Meditation Monday, our kick-off event for the Soulmate Revolution Celebration, a month-long series of events and contests designed to help you get started on the journey to finding your soulmate!

Monday Feb. 23th at 12 noon-12:30, Mountain Time (2 pm Eastern, 11 am Pacific)

Call In Information: 309-747-2560
Access Code: 355622#

Please note: There is no charge for the Session, but there will be normal long distance charges to your phone, if you are not in the 309 area code.

We’ll be sharing a wonderful Guided Meditation designed to open your heart to attracting the perfect partner. Followed by a short guided round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to melt away your biggest blocks to love.

Cool part is, removing blocks doesn't have to take long. We'll be done in time for you to enjoy your lunch!

If you’ve been waiting for your soulmate to arrive, take the next step to turning your dreams of love into reality by joining us for this powerful half hour!

I’m excited to announce that My Soulmate Solution.com’s new EFT expert, Annie B Lawrence, Ph.D., is leading this first Meditation Monday. With many decades of healing experience and a commitment to helping others create love, she’s going to be an awesome asset to our single members. Learn more about her on her website: http://www.retreatandheal.com/

Normally, attendance at Meditation Monday is reserved for My Soulmate Solution members, but for 4 weeks during the Soulmate Revolution Celebration, we're throwing the doors wide open and inviting anyone serious about finding their soulmate.

Step into the Great Feeling Space of Positive Possibilities for 4 weeks in a row and notice the difference in your love life!

Stay tuned for more info about how to win your FREE 3-month membership to My Soulmate Solution during our March Madness Soulmate Revolution Celebration Party.

Because we're not stopping till you find your soulmate!

Cool New Books from the Dating Goddess

2009-02-16T13:27:00.000-08:00

Do you like solid dating advice?
Do you like to get your advice while reading charming and insightful personal anecdotes?

I thought you did, because I do too!

I mean who doesn't, really?

That's why I think you're going to really enjoy the Dating Goddess's new Dating Books. She must have been busy dating these past few years because she's got 15 new books chock-filled with experiences that will help guide your dating odyssey.

Why beat your head up against the wall, when you can learn from her real-life dating stories???

But who's the Dating Goddess, you ask?

What? You haven't heard of her? She's got a really popular blog, Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40, check it out over at http://www.datinggoddess.com/

She's like many single women today, divorced after a 20 year marriage and thrown back into the dating pool- learning to sink or swim. Well, she's been swimming quite well for a few years now and wants to share what's she's learned with you.

In fact, she and I share many similar themes with our readers, only from different perspectives.

Here's a couple of my favorite tidbits from the first in her series of books- Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?

- Are you being receptive to love? I mean, really? Men want to make you happy and do things for you. You should let him show his feelings for you by allowing him to do so.

- Are you being proactive by planning to gain from lessons in your dating experience? I totally recommend making sure you learn the lesson that each dating encounter is offering you as a gift. But the Dating Goddess takes it one step further by pointing out that you can actually take some time to design your next lesson. Know you are a little clingy, or hop into bed too fast? Try doing the opposite next time and see what you learn. Viola- old habits can be melting away quickly!

- Are you facing your fears and doing it anyway? How would you date differently if you were brave? You know, you can fake it until you make it and soon one day you will be filled with genuine confidence- because that's what comes from facing your fears. What's one fear you are ready to face? Go do it!

Well, her books are just filled to the brim with little nuggets of wisdom just like these that you can just pick up and run with.

I encourage you to check them out today and see which one speaks most to you right now. They are organized into the stages of dating- so you can pick the one that fits best for you. Or you can get a deal by buying more than one at a time.

Click here for more information on buying the Dating Goddess Books

Until next time, make sure you're doing something, anything that will attract your soulmate today!

How Not to Be Single Next Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to slide into being bummed out.

But feeling blue isn’t going to help you attract a new love. What will help is staying positively focused on your goal ofcreating an amazing new relationship.

In fact, finding a new partner may take shifting some of your current attitudes, emotions, and actions. By knowing how to use these 3 factors to your advantage, you can become a Soulmate Magnet- ensuring that next Valentine’s Day you get to celebrate with a sweetie by your side!

How to Transform V-day, into your new Vision Day

1. Shift Your Attitude: Refine Your Vision

Your thoughts are like magnets, working to attract to you that which you focus on.

To draw in your perfect partner like a mighty magnet, you need to have a crystal clear of vision of the love you desire.

So sit down and craft your own ‘Happily Ever After’ Love story. Create an amazing scene with vivid detail of you and your new partner sharing an incredible time.

Then step into this vision, with as much positive emotion as you can, at least a few times a day.

2. Shift Your Emotion: Embody Appreciation

Appreciation and gratitude are two of the most powerful attractors.

By choosing to focus on what you are grateful for, you allow more positive things to flow into your life.

Practice expressing appreciation every day, for even the little things, and soon, you’ll have something big to be grateful for, a wonderful new love.

3. Shift Your Action: Don’t Miss Out on the Romance

Thoughts of Self-Doubt (I’m not good, thin, smart, pretty enough) and Lack (There aren’t enough good men left!) often hinder your ability to attract a great partner.

By romancing yourself this holiday, you are showing your subconscious that:
1) You really are worthy of being treated as special and
2) There really are indulgences available for you to enjoy.

Plus, love is a circuit- what goes out, must come in. So by focusing on giving love, especially to yourself, you’re opening the door for a loving partner to arrive.

Shifting just these 3 things on a regular basis really can alter your whole love life. I invite you to try them today!

Want to learn more about becoming a Soulmate Magnet?

Get Dr. Jenn’s 3-part E-Course Becoming a Soulmate Magnet at http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com/.

Men: The Best Valentine's Day Gift for Your Woman

2009-02-10T13:14:00.001-08:00

If you've been dating 6 months to a year, you are probably wondering what would make a great gift this Valentine's Day.

Well, for all you male readers:

A Women's Day magazine survey showed that the majority of women would prefer to get a love letter this valentine's day- even over flowers, jewelry, chocolates, or dinner.

But in response to this, a Denver radio DJ thought that women were totally lying- that they couldn't possibly prefer men to put pen to paper over opening up a fancy jewelry box.

But I believe it. Why?

Women's hearts long to be nurtured with your loving word.

What's most important to many women is knowing how deeply loved and cherished they are... and many women complain that they don't feel that way enough.

Think about it....your partner is lying on her death bed...what is she thinking?

"Wow- that diamond earring set he gave me for Valentine's day in 2009 was so beautiful" or

"I can still remember that love letter he wrote to me... just one of the many ways I felt so loved all my life."

No contest here for most women: it's your open expression of your loving thoughts and emotions that rule the day.

So men, this V-day, put down your wallets and get out your pen and paper. Start writing.

Want a special touch?
Go buy some pretty paper to put it on. And do hand-write your note.
Your partner will be so impressed with your effort to give her a special piece of you. One she can treasure for years to come!

Got writer's block? Not sure what to write?
Be specific. Examples of the things you love about her are more meaningful than vague platitudes.

Thank her for the things she does that make you happy.
Let her know the times you thought she looked beautiful.
Talk about memories of events or examples when you felt your love very strongly...try to fill in the details...where you were, what was going on, what she wore, what she did that touched you...

Basically- why is she the best choice you've ever made?

Women readers: Give the guys some advice. What would touch your heart most to read in a love note? Please share!

How to Turn a Bitch-Fest into a Shift-Fest

2008-12-08T08:11:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but I used to love talking to my friends about dating. And by talking, I mostly mean complaining to them.

About the latest, not so greatest chapter, in the ever-evolving drama of my search for love.

In fact, I sought out people who enjoyed all that complaining, who also thought it was great fun.

And indeed- there was some fun to it- but after many years, I finally realized that all that negativity, pessimism, and complaining didn’t really make me feel better, at least not for more than the time we talked.

Now, new research supports this view.

At msnbc.com, they discussed a study showing that all that complaining, especially about relationship woes, can actually make you feel worse.

It can amplify the badness, confirm your worst fears, and at the very least- keeps you stuck in all that yuck!

Heck- that’s what I thought friends were for!

But not any more.

Now I know that a real friend isn’t one who lets you wallow in all of that nonsense.

A true friend will help you shift from feeling bad, to feeling better- because nothing is more important than feeling good.

So, here’s what I suggest the next time you want to have a bitch fest with your pal.

4 Steps to Turning a Bitch-Fest into a Shift-fest

1. Tell your friend that you have a problem and that you want to vent. BUT ask them to stop you at 10 minutes past the pity party.

2. Then go ahead and complain, bitch, moan. Cry if you need to. Be angry if you want. Whine even. Whine a lot. That was my personal favorite- or so I am told. But you only get 10 minutes so be sure to get it all out.

3. Then together with your friend’s help, discover some answers to this question:
“What would help me feel better right now?

Feeling better may include things you can do around the ugly situation: shifting your perspective, or taking some helpful action.

And it may include things outside of the actual situation- things that help move you away from the yuck.

For instance you may feel like committing to your friend that you will indeed do something that will result in feeling better, like:

- Go to yoga: good for releasing sadness
- Take a kickboxing class: great for getting out anger
- Read a self-help book: good for empowering yourself
- Get manicures together: a little pampering may be in order
- Go dancing with your friends Friday night: good for plain old distraction

4. Whatever you do, make a pact with your good buddy, that you won’t end the discussion until you’ve been able to shift, even just a tiny bit, into a better place.

That’s a true friendship: one in which you each help the other step into your Better Self, your Higher self, who holds all the wisdom you need to get through any situation.

Isn’t that a much better use of friendship than multiplying and spreading the yuck?

Readers: How has a friend helped you shift into a better place? Please share!

Want to read the original msnbc article on the study?
Here it is: Quit Complaining, It May Make You Feel Worse

Find a Date While Holiday Shopping!

2008-11-26T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today we have a guest writer, fellow dating blogger, Seth, over at http://thedatingpapers.com.

His recent post about using holiday shopping to benefit your love life was so brillant, I couldn't wait to share it with you here.

Take him up on his advice below and turn shopping into a dating adventure!

*********************************************************************************

Dating On The Downturn: Cashing In On Long lines

by Seth

See original article here: http://tinyurl.com/6aqjzc

I had to wait for my sister and her husband to pick up a few presents to bring his relatives at the end of their flight to Mississippi. As I listened to a discussion on NPR about the economic downturn’s affect on retailers, I heard the phrase “super-long lines” and thought, what a great chance to meet somebody new!

I am encouraging you to approach your holiday shopping with the mindset of transforming interesting strangers into new friends for the following reasons:

1. Shared experience: You and that amazing brunette have been standing in the same check-out line for 20 minutes, listening to a baby scream three aisles over. This might be oversimplification, but they call it a check-out line because you check things out in it. You’ve been checking her out, now make a comment about your shared experience of the screaming. She’ll acknowledge you and probably give you a sympathetic smile or roll her eyes at the situation. This is your chance to move the conversation ahead.

2. Tangible Hints: That gorgeous blond standing in front of you in line with 17 identical stuffed animals in her arms? When she keeps dropping them, offer to hold a couple and use the opportunity to find out why she’s clearing the store of Ronnie Crocodile toys.

3. Captive Audience: The chance that she’ll give up her place in a crowded line just because you messed up your first attempt at conversation is extremely low. This means you might as well try again. Thank the shopping gods, think before you speak, and try not to be creepy. Odds are on your side.

Just making a comment isn’t enough, though. It’s important to move past the initial contact and encourage interaction.

In a recent check-out line conversation with Connie (hate the name, adore the lady), I moved beyond the initial “shared experience” comment by talking about my shopping. I mentioned that I have a lot of sisters and sometimes find it difficult to purchase for them. Connie responded, as expected, by offering a bit of advice and comments on her own family.

Follow up on your initial comment with a question that cannot be answered by “yes” or “no.” This guarantees you a response of some sort.

Get contact information before your conversation has reached it’s logical end. In this case, it will be the interaction between your new friend and the cashier.

Be grateful and say “thank you” but don’t gloat too much while she’s still in sight. Your best bet is to just continue your conversation. Continuing the conversation after you’ve exchanged contact info is the best way to reduce any awkward feelings about the interchange and set any future contact up for success.

When I got home from meeting Connie, I rang up an old buddy who works in retail and had him find the item Connie had been looking for. I texted her with the information and offered to get stuck in line the following Thursday afternoon. You know what? She said yes and followed it with a bunch of annoying emoticons.

I knew I should have just called her.

Happy Holidays!
Seth

****************************************************************

Readers: What do you think? Are you brave enough to make a move in line? That person standing next to you could be your soulmate!

Just remember: Even if that hot blonde isn't single, she may think you are perfect for her best friend.

What are you waiting for, go reach out and greet someone!

Don't Know Where to Meet? Let Meetways.com Help!

2008-11-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but figuring out where to meet new dates can be challenging.

Where is convenient for both of you?

Struggle no longer.

http://www.MeetWays.com/ has come to the rescue!

Enter two locations and a point of interest (like a coffee shop or sushi restaurant) and then it finds the exact halfway point and the types of businesses you searched for.

How cool and easy is that!

Give it a try for your next date!

Then, let me know what you think!

Real Life Fairy Tales Do Come True!

2008-11-17T19:27:00.000-08:00

You know how we all thought that romantic love had to wane, even in happy relationships. That the spark would fizzle. And you'd need to settle for companionate love?

In fact, previous research has shown that the heady romance of new love tends to last only a little over a year.

Pretty depressing, right!?

But no longer, new research has shown that for a few special couples, it's totally possible to maintain that "falling in love" feeling, even after decades of marriage.

And there is hard evidence- MRI brain scans. I mean, if a brain scan says it's so, then I believe it.

And these scans showed that couples who say that they are still intensely in love after an average of 28 years of marriage, had very similar brain scans as newly in love couples.

Wow- the romance doesn't have to fade.

I don't know about you- but that gives new hope, plus a little incentive to be one of those special couples.

Of course, now what I'd really like to know is: How did these couples do it? What's the secret to decades long passion?

If you've got an idea, please share!

Read the original article in USA Today: Romance Doesn't Have to Fade

Larina Kase on facing Dating Discomfort!

2008-11-13T14:04:00.001-08:00

Today we have a very special guest, my colleague, Larina Kase, talking about how you can confidently move in the direction of your ideal relationship!

In case Larina's name is new to you, she is a psychologist and coach and has written many popular books in the past few years. I'm excited about Larina's fabulous new book: The Confident Leader.

I was lucky enough to steal a few minutes of her time to ask her how singles can manage the discomfort that comes with

the initial stages of dating.

I'd like to know how singles can more confidently pursue love- since fear keeps many of us from reaching our full potential in love.

Hey, we all need a little more confidence, wouldn't you say!?

Here's what Larina had to say.

Jenn: Why is it necessary to move outside of your comfort zone for greater relationship success?

Larina: In order to get and stay in a relationship that you value, you will likely need to move beyond your comfort zone in one or more areas. For example, in the relationship initiation phase you may need to approach discomfort to:

· Go up to someone and introduce yourself
· Go on a first date (even though you’re unsure about how you look, what you’ll say, if you’ll like them, and so on)
· Pick up the phone to call someone (when you’d much prefer if they’d make the first move, but waiting will get you no where)

Then, of course, as you get into the relationship, new areas of discomfort will arise that you’ll need to approach rather than avoid, things like:

· Your fears of change (moving in together, etc.)
· Your fear of commitment or intimacy
· Your worries about what if he or she ends the relationship

Jenn: I love that you are highlighting that discomfort is a natural part of the dating cycle.

We all will deal with it at one point or another.

And we always get to choose: face the fear and do it anyway, or back away and end up wondering, "What could have been?!"

Larina: Yes, and your discomfort level can be a helpful thermometer for whether you’re in a healthy relationship that you value.

- If you never have any discomfort, you may be avoiding facing important issues or perhaps you don’t care about the relationship.

- If you’re too uncomfortable, your intuition may be telling you that this person is not the right one for you.

Jenn: That is such an excellent point! We all want to avoid discomfort, so we often forget that it can hold valuable clues for us to follow.

Larina: You’ll want to accept a higher level of discomfort at the beginning and know that it will likely reduce over time as you get used to the relationship.

Jenn: I think that's right on. If you are going to date, you have to be willing to wade into the pool of discomfort, since there are so many unknown factors. And as you face your fears and bravely move forward- you are rewarded with clarity and a growing sense of confidence.

Larina: Also be wary of being too comfortable and take that as a cue to take on a challenge (set up a romantic date, surprise your partner with his or her favorite gift or meal, etc.)

Jenn: Good point! It's easy to take things for granted and coast along smoothly. Let that be a sign to shake things up a bit and take a risk for deepening the relationship!

Jenn: Most of our readers are singles, not business leaders- why should they check out The Confident Leader?

Larina: This book is really more about leading yourself than leading others.

It’s about challenging yourself, pushing your boundaries, staying motivated, and standing out.

There’s a detailed description (and some great bonuses) here:
http://www.ConfidentLeaderBook.com

Jenn: Thanks so much for your words of wisdom today! All of Larina's books are chock full of practical advice on how to make the most of everything you do. So I highly recommend you take a peek.

You can learn more about Larina at her website: http://www.pascoaching.com/

What's the Best Age to Get Married??

2008-11-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

If you are searching for your soulmate, then chances are you want to get married.

And you probably know that in the US, people are getting married for the first time later and later. Now, the average is up to 26 for women, 28 for men.

Is this good or bad?

A USA Today article debated the pros and cons today, with no clear winner. See article here: Sooner vs. Later?

Here's how I'm weighing in: Waiting is smart.

Personally, I think that for most people, waiting until the late 20's, early 30's is a good idea.

Let's face it, before that, you've got a lot of growing up to do. And you do a lot of changing.

When I think about it, who I was at 23 doesn't look a hell of a lot like who I was at 33. And if I care to admit it, I would have done a piss poor job of picking a mate that had a chance of lasting a lifetime!!

If I picked back then, chances are we'd be out of sync now, perhaps having grown in different directions.

Hey, if you are only gonna pick once a lifetime, then I say, why not wait until you KNOW WHO you are!! So you know WHAT YOU NEED.

And can make a smart choice that includes both your head and your heart!

Just my two cents! I'm glad I waited.

Readers: What do you think is the best age to wed??

Ladies, Want to Wow Him? Wear Red!

2008-10-29T10:25:00.001-07:00

Well ladies, the secret is out.

Their really is a a simple secret weapon to attraction.

If you want to wow him on your first date- you should wear red!

New studies found that when a woman wears red, men find her more sexy and more attractive.

Well, you definitely want that, don't you?!!

Plus, he's willing to spend more on your dinner date! Who knew!!

But beware, they may also be more interested in having sex- so be ready to end the nite with a polite kiss on the cheek.

So go round up some favorite sweetly sexy tops in red and be prepared to dazzle him come date night!

Read more on the study at CNN: Wearing Red May Boost Your Sex Appeal

Readers: What color makes you feel most confident and sexy??
Please share.

Tech-iquette: The New Multi Media Dating Etiquette

2008-10-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

In this totally hyper-wired age, have you ever wondered just what's the best way to connect with your new love interest?

And, can you ever get away with breaking up via email?

Before you pick up the phone, write your next text message, or send another email, check out Kelli Lawless' "Using Technology" discussion on her blog: Dating and Mating in Amercia.

Seriously, it's the most comprehensive discussion of the topic I've ever seen!

Go there now: Here

And for the record: NO- you can't ever, ever break up via email or text. It requires a phone call or better yet, a face to face.

If we want to live in a civil world, we've got to offer each other at least that much respect and kindness.

Don't you think???
Please comment.

Who Else Wants to be a Warrior Goddess?

2008-10-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

“That horse looks like a Warrior Goddess,” said one of my recent participants at an equine-assisted singles workshop.

She’s tall, gorgeous, and reeks of charm, indeed, her name is Charm.

She’s playful and a bit mischievous.

She's confident and comfortable in her body. She runs for the pure joy of it.

But she’s obviously strong, independent, and no one is going to mess with her.

You have to earn her respect before she’ll do anything for you.

But once you’ve shown you are worthy, she’s open, receptive, heck even downright affectionate.

She knows how to stand in her power, yet be gentle and give and receive love.

She doesn't question her own worth. She just knows she's worthy.

Wow- if that’s what it means to be a Warrior Goddess, sign me up!

Doesn’t that describe a wonderful way to inhabit our femininity in the world?

To stand in your power, to assert your needs, to set healthy boundaries, yet at the same time remain open to connection, be able to offer and receive gentle love. And be playful, yet strong.

Who wouldn’t be attracted to that kind of woman???

Ok, wussy men wouldn’t. But any man worthy of YOU, would be.

So today, in honor of all of the women workshop participants who learned

To embody their power,

To own their worthiness,

To feel the exhilaration of being fully alive and insisting on being treated well,

I offer up, for your consideration, the ancient archetype of the Warrior Goddess.

Would you like to be a Warrior Goddess?

What would that mean in your life?
What behaviors and beliefs would you need to let go of because they no longer serve you?
What gifts and abilities would you have to reclaim?

Are you up for the challenge???

Because in this world, you either stand up and be the leader of your own life, or you’ll be led by someone or something else.

When you choose, the warrior goddess will be there.

Take her into your heart and let her fiery, yet sweet energy revitalize and inspire you so that you can create the love you’ve only dreamed of.

Reclaim your power.

It’s the only path to true love.

And if you need some help, my dear friends, the horse herd here at the Happily Ever After Healing Horse Ranch, are more than willing to show you how!

Want to see more love lessons from the horse herd? Follow along with the participants as they discover the Wisdom of the Body through the Way of the Horse. Access the Picture show here.

Readers: What aspect of the Warrior Goddess do you most need to incorporate into your life right now?

And if you are a guy. does the Warrior Goddess excite you or intimidate you? Why?

Please comment.

When's the Best Time for a First Kiss???

2008-10-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

Recently, Jane Wonder of the One Date Wonder dating blog had an awkward situation: she was dating a guy who hadn't kissed her, until the 6th date. She didn't know: What do you do? What does it mean?

So, I'm curious, guys and girls, when do YOU think it's the perfect time for the first kiss??? And how do you judge??

Personally, I'm a total first kiss phobic. I put it off as long as possible, until like Jane says, then it's just plain awkward because you've made too big a deal about it.

My poor husband...how long did he wait? 4, 5 dates...I can't remember. Hmmm...I told him my discomfort with first kisses so he patiently waited for me to make the first move.

He knew it was time when we were on his couch and I bent over to take off my glasses- no point in letting those get in the way if you've waited that long!!

My friend and dating expert colleague, Mary Jo Fay, met a guy who had a perfect solution to this problem.

His idea was to end the first date by asking: Would you like a handshake, a hug, or a kiss?

This totally avoids the whole awkward end of first date thing AND it lets everyone proceed at their own pace without having to guess and make it all weird and uncomfortable.

Plus, then it gives the guy a real big hint about whether this girl may be interested in going out on another date. So he can ask with more confidence.

Brilliant! I wish every guy knew this!

So, when's the perfect time for that first kiss? And how do you know?

Please share.

I'm Just Not Ready for a Relationship Right Now

2008-10-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

So, a guy you really dig, someone you saw great potential with, says, "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. Maybe in a year..."

You should hold out hope that maybe he'll come around and then fall madly in love with you and you'll live happily ever after, right?

Um...no.

Jeff Mac, on his blog, Manslations, just uttered something truly brilliant, so I share it here:

"They leave because they want to leave more than they want to stay."

Never a truer statement uttered. Truly.

At this point- many of us are prone to go round and round in our heads, making our stomachs churn even more anxiously:

"But why?"
"What if I had done...'"
"What if I do..."
"Maybe I should wait a little while longer"
"Maybe I can convince him..."

But let me tell you, all of this is vain- just more wasted time, effort, and emotion.

And clearly, you've already wasted enough of those on the wrong person.

You deserve someone who is unequivocally saying, "Bring it on, cause I choose YOU."

After all, that's the ONLY thing that matters.

Missing that is a deal breaker.

The relationship could have EVERYTHING else right, but if you are missing this one thing, you've got nothing.

It's like siting down in your brand new, perfect-for-you car with all your favorite gadgets, when you realize it has no gas. Without this one last thing, you ain't going nowhere.

Not one tiny mile. Doesn't matter that you only need to go 5 miles. You aren't moving an inch.

Anything less than a 100% "I choose you" and you end up the loser.

Time to cut it loose and go find someone who wins you.

How often do you put up with being picked with less than 100% enthusiasm? How often do you keep someone else around even though you can't give them 100%? Why?

Please comment.

How Did You Ever Fall for That Jerk(ette)?!

2008-10-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

So last time I promised you that I would explain how people fall in love with partners who treat them good and bad, hot and cold- so you can avoid a similar fate as the woman in Kenny Chesny’s song “Better as a Memory.” (see related post below).

I’ll be honest. I once dated a guy who said to me, “I don’t think you are in love with me, but in love with some image of me that isn’t even reality!”

I thought he was whack.

At the time.

Now I can acknowledge that he was so right.

I wasn’t “in love” with him. How the heck could I have been!?

I was miserable with him. He didn’t come close to meeting my needs (nor me his, to be fair). We were a horrible match.

So, how on earth did I come to think I was in love with him???

The answer: Compartmentalization.

That’s a fancy psychological term, but it’s meaning is simple.

Let’s say you have a big box.

Inside this box is a whole bunch of stuff:
white stuff (the good stuff) and
black stuff (the bad stuff).

This big box is like you and me and any person you date. We’ve all got good and not so good qualities and behaviors.

To fall in love in a healthy way, we acknowledge all of the good and the bad and appreciate the whole person, because in the end, the good outweighs the bad and we feel good around our partner.

But some people have a habit of falling in love in an unhealthy way.

And yes, I used to be one them.

These people use Mental Gymnastics to hide the bad stuff and only focus on the good stuff. They pretend that the bad stuff doesn’t even exist.

It’s like you had that big box of white and black. And you got two smaller boxes.

You put all the white in one box. You put all the black in another box.

Then you tied the black box up with a pretty bow, and hid it way up in the back of your closet and never looked at it again. Bad- all gone.

Then, you kept that white box right in front of you and you gazed lovingly at it every day, admiring it’s beauty and falling ever more deeply in love.

The problem with this?

You are allowing strong feelings of love or attachment to form based on only part of a person. And completely ignoring the parts that don’t fit what you want to believe.

But man, it’s a lot of work, because every time some black pops up, you have to do more mental gymnastics to put it out of your view, into the hidden black box- so your white box stays pristine.

So, your love isn’t really love, it’s a fantasy game- that always has a bad ending- because no one is playing in the real world.

Do you get what I am saying yet? If not, here is one more way to picture it.

What Color Is Your Crystal Ball?

You’ve got a crystal ball in your hands.

In reality, it’s half white and half black.

I ask you, what color is the ball?

You answer: “It’s white!”

Ummm, no it’s not.

And falling in love this way will bite back every time.

Because sooner or later, your mental gymnastics will fail you.

And you’ll land flat on your back. Let’s hope you don’t break your neck in the process.

I almost did.

That’s Screwed Up!

Well yeah, but if this sounds familiar to you, I want you to know that compartmentalization is actually a coping tool you learned as a child.

As a child, you need to see your parents as good- otherwise the world is too scary.

So you learned to put the bad away and pretend it was all good. You needed to do this to survive. So, at the time, it was a helpful thing.

It’s just not so helpful anymore!

The Solution: Facing Reality

The solution here is actually simple.

You’ve heard me say it before. Just pay attention to your feelings.

Keep checking in with your gut. Start a journal and make notes after every date.

Pay attention to the good and bad feelings and write them down- so you have them in black and white- then you can’t pretend it’s just white going on!

You can’t be so desperate to find The One, that you’ll make anyone into The One.

You have to wait, pass on the wrong ones, and be available when the right one, the one whose box is mostly white anyway comes along!

Avoid the “Better as a Memory” Phenomenon

2008-09-30T18:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so like a couple of months ago, I was totally addicted to Kenny Chesny’s new song, Better as a Memory (Than as Your Man). I could sing along to it, 5 times in a row!

Having kicked the habit of bad love when I met my husband, I was shocked at how deeply this song still resonated with me!

Basically, it’s a classic song about falling for the emotionally unavailable man. Something I know a thing or two about.

The refrain highlights the hard truth that the idealized, rosy-colored memories left over from these relationships are usually better than the reality of actually being with him.

And the acknowledgment that falling for such a guy always has an ugly ending.

Kudos to the songwriter. At least the guy in the song knows himself well enough that he’s warning the poor woman!

Don’t you wish more people would come with a warning tag: Danger, falling in love with me could be hazardous for your health!

Maybe emblazoned on a bright red Lance Armstrong-like plastic bracelet?

Or at the very least, why can’t they just come out and say it: Look let’s just have fun for awhile because I’m just not good at anything more.

Actually a guy once did say that to me. What did I do? Blithely ignored the warning, then became shocked when, after a few romps in the hay, he was ready to move on. So silly, me.

But how many times have YOU fallen for that guy or girl?

Only realizing later how that quaint distance, that mysterious air, that strong streak of independence really meant you’d be banging your head up against a brick wall trying to get your needs met…

You saw the warning signs, (or maybe you didn’t!) but you went ahead and fell in love anyway. Reality be damned!

Believe me, you don’t want to play that fool again. Once is already way more than enough.

So how to avoid having another relationship with the next Memory Man/Woman?

DateSmart Tip: It’s simple.
Keep only one question in mind while dating: How do I feel around this person?

Your answer to this question is like a compass directing you to the future of the relationship.

As soon as negative emotions arise- consider them gigantic red flags. Stop. Pay Attention. Do not ignore. Do not rationalize and make excuses. And if the bad feelings continue, then it’s time to walk away.

Why does everyone want to make dating so complicated?!

When it all really boils down to one easy thing: Do I feel good around this person?!

Ok, time to fess up. How many of YOUR ex’s are “Better as a Memory?”

I’ll admit it. For me, it’s at least half. Is that so bad??

Share your number or percentage.

BTW, stay tuned. Next post we’ll talk about how you could have ever fallen in love with that brick wall to begin with. So you won’t make that mistake again!

Haven’t heard the song yet? Check it out with lyrics on YouTube.

A Monogamy Gene!? You Can do Better than That!

2008-09-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't you love to know if the guy you're dating is a commitment-phobe? Or whether he is apt to cheat on you after you've devoted 10 years to raising his kids?

Well, men don't run around with a giant C (for Cheater) on their foreheads. Don't you wish they did!?

But scientists in Sweden have discovered the next best thing: A monogamy gene.

Men with certain variations of this gene have a harder time bonding with their women, leaving them likely to stray or create chaos at home.

A genetic test isn't available quite yet.

But if it were:

Would you want your man to take the test?

If you are a man, would you want to take the test to find out if you have the errant gene?

What difference would it make if you did know?

If you've got a bad gene, is that a good excuse???? "But Honey, my genes made me do it!"

BTW- Paul Newman probably had the good version of the gene (see previous post)! Shaquille O’Neal, not so much.

DateSmart Tip: Until we do have a genetic test, remember that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

To check your dating partner's cheating quotient be sure to ask three questions, early on in the getting-to-know-you stage:

1. Have you ever cheated in a relationship? How many times?

A serial cheater is highly likely to cheat again. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "I can change them. They'll be faithful to me!"

2. When do you think cheating is acceptable in a relationship?

In my dissertation research, I found that lenient attitudes toward infidelity predicted who would cheat in a dating relationship. Bottom Line: If you think it's excusable, you are more likely to do it.

3. Did either of your parents ever cheat?

We learn how to love at home. If you saw this going on with your parents, you're either apt to NEVER cheat, or think you can get away with it.

Want to read the full article about the Monogamy Gene from NewScientist.com: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14641-monogamy-gene-found-in-people.html

Share your thoughts.

"I have steak at home, why go out for hamburgers?"

2008-09-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Guess which Hollywood icon made this statement about being faithful to his wife for 50+ years?

It was Paul Newman, who, sadly, died over the weekend.

While many may argue that he should be honored for his many memorable film credits, I posit that his crowning achievement is remaining happily married for over 50 years, in Hollywood no less!

Certainly, it would have been easy for this handsome and popular actor to cheat on his wife, Joanne Woodward, over the years.

But he didn't! (At least, he denies it.)

Why?

My guess? He picked the right woman to begin with!

A woman whom he still saw as heads and shoulders above the rest, a lifetime later.

Now, that's the kind of love we all deserve!

How can you tell whether the person you are dating is a Grade A, juicy, Filet Mignon and not just some 70% fat, grocery-store hamburger?

Please share your thoughts now!