Friday, October 17, 2008

When's the Best Time for a First Kiss???

Recently, Jane Wonder of the One Date Wonder dating blog had an awkward situation: she was dating a guy who hadn't kissed her, until the 6th date. She didn't know: What do you do? What does it mean?

So, I'm curious, guys and girls, when do YOU think it's the perfect time for the first kiss??? And how do you judge??

Personally, I'm a total first kiss phobic. I put it off as long as possible, until like Jane says, then it's just plain awkward because you've made too big a deal about it.

My poor long did he wait? 4, 5 dates...I can't remember. Hmmm...I told him my discomfort with first kisses so he patiently waited for me to make the first move.

He knew it was time when we were on his couch and I bent over to take off my glasses- no point in letting those get in the way if you've waited that long!!

My friend and dating expert colleague, Mary Jo Fay, met a guy who had a perfect solution to this problem.

His idea was to end the first date by asking: Would you like a handshake, a hug, or a kiss?

This totally avoids the whole awkward end of first date thing AND it lets everyone proceed at their own pace without having to guess and make it all weird and uncomfortable.

Plus, then it gives the guy a real big hint about whether this girl may be interested in going out on another date. So he can ask with more confidence.

Brilliant! I wish every guy knew this!

So, when's the perfect time for that first kiss? And how do you know?

Please share.


S. Williams said...

I totally agree with the idea of asking...but!

I did that once and was chastised for it, I was supposed to be a mind reader, I guess.

I forgot to bring my "Magic 8 Ball"...

Some situations are a no-win for the guy.

I didn't like her that much anyways (I was just trying to be polite).

Thanks for sharing, that brought back a memory (not a good one) but, I still believe honesty is the best approach, as opposed to "mind reading."

S. Williams

Dr. Jenn said...

Dear S. Williams,

Yeah! You are so right. There is literally nothing that will please everyone!

And it's sad but true, but it does seem like there are plenty of women who would rather you read their minds. I don't get that!

But, personally I am totally impressed by any man who is open and honest.

Wouldn't the dating world be SO much easier if everyone was just honest about what was going on and how they felt!?

We need a global policy here- like "Honesty In Dating."

Maybe then people wouldn't get so feed up and give up!

Mollie said...

I'm usually a no go for first date kisses. Of course I've only been on about 5 dates in my entire life lol so maybe I'm the wrong person to comment.

That being said I really think it depends on the people, the date, level of attraction, comfort and chemistry.

Not so long ago I exprienced what I'm pretty sure will remain forever the 'best first date ever' and we had our first kiss on the first date. At the park in the rain no less. =)

russruggles said...

I've been on alot of dates in the past few years, and in the 25-30 age range, on the West Coast, 2nd date was pretty much standard.

I'm really not into the whole concept of making a move. I prefer to use my senses. You know when you can actually feel the other person's body heat up from a few feet away, their pupils dilate, their eyes gaze a little longer, and their pores open up a little bit? (I must have a spidey sense or something :) Sure, I'll scheme to get us sitting next to each other in the booth at the bar, or on a park bench or something, but from there, it just happens.

The only time I would ask for a kiss would be if it were so obvious that it was a joke - you should be able to tell if you're paying attention.

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