Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Top 3 Dating Lessons from the Bachelorette

Can you find real love on a reality TV show? Doubtful. Since the conditions aren't real!

But you can learn REAL love lessons from all that drama. Let's take a peek at this season's Bachelorette, Ali, to see what insights her journey offer for those looking for real life lasting love.

Lesson 1: Juggling is Oh-So-Good

The Bachelorette is set up so Ali gets to date a ton of guys at a time. While you may never have 25 guys vying for your attention at one time (and it isn't smart to actually fall in love with more than one at a time!), there is some wisdom to getting to know a few prospects at a time.

That's what I call Juggling, and it's perfect because it keeps you moving toward finding real love with fewer time outs when guys up and disappear. And it's less heartbreaking when one or more disqualify themselves from the running- because you still have hope another option will pan out.

Plus, when you spread your attention out over a few qualified prospects, you take the time to go slower- getting to know the real person behind the persona. This means you won't make the mistake of falling head over heels for a mere image of the perfect partner before you know what's on the inside. By going slowly, you can build a solid love, one date at a time.

Lesson 2: Follow Your Gut

One of Ali's most genuine connections from the start was with Frank. Yet, something wasn't quite right. She even said it herself a few dates in, something like: "What scares me is you have the potential to break my heart."

BINGO! Fast forward several episodes to where Ali has chosen Frank to stay in the top 3 and he informs her he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend! Ouch! Now her heart is broken and she sent home good guys who could have been The One.

The moral? Always listen to your instincts. If something feels off, 90% of the time, it is and you shouldn't slide forward in your connection until you get it figured out. Bring your concerns up and don't ignore them until it feels right.

A good line to try: "Is there something you aren't telling me?" If the answer doesn't feel right, don't trust it, move on.

Lesson 3: Listen to Your Friends

Oh boy, the hunky Wrestler. An upstanding man in pursuit of real love or a fake, selfish publicity seeker? That was the question from the very first episode- when all the men voted Justin off- they just didn't trust him.

But his charming, smooth ways won over Ali in spite of everyone else's opinion. Only to find out mid-way through that he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home- he was a dishonorable liar. And again, Ali sent home quality guys to keep this phony.

The lesson? When in doubt, always listen to the opinion of close friends and family who often have clearer judgment that isn't clouded by hopes of love and hormones. If no one likes your new date- there is a reason- get to the bottom of it before love leaves you with a broken heart.

While true love isn't easy to find on TV, you have high hopes of creating a lasting love when you date smart!

Readers: Which hunky prospect would you have choosen for Ali? For yourself? Let us know!

Wondering how much longer it's gonna be until you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn's Attractor Factor quiz and discover what's keeping you from finding real, lasting love. Haven't you waited long enough? Become a Massive Love Magnet today! Take the quiz now:

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