Top 4 Signs You are Dating a Commitment-Phobe and How to Deal!

Have you spent too long trying to make Mr./Ms. Wrong fall in love with you? You know the type- the one you’re always pursuing because they forever seem to be just out of reach.

Sadly, many singles squander away time pursuing a relationship that has no future, when they could be busy finding real love.

But the drama of being on an emotional roller coaster with a Commitment-Phobe can be a tad addicting, luring you in with juicy highs, and the hope that maybe underneath it all they could be The One.

So, how can you tell when you’re wasting your time? When the person you’re dating has no intention of committing to you?

The bottom line is that when two people really like each other, they automatically enact the Principle of Equal Investment. In other words, both partners invest equal amounts of time, energy, and emotion.

Check out these tell-tale signs that their investment isn’t up to par, as well as what to do about it.

1. You Always Reach Out First

If you’re always beating your date to an email, text, or call- then you’re extending more effort. If you waited to reach out, would it be a few days, a week, 2 weeks before you heard from them? You better find out!

Solution: Give'em Space

The more you pursue a commitment-phobe, the more they withdraw. So, wait for them to make contact first. When they does reach out, don’t jump to connect- take your time returning the message.

2. They Only Make Last Minute Plans

A commitment-phobe likes to keep their options open, so they typically only initiate plans with you at the last minute. Sure, they might agree to something you’ve planned sooner- but they won’t make that move personally.

Solution: Make Your Own Plans

When you have a full life of fun, you’ll be less needy and more attractive. So make your own plans with friends and never change them just to be with them. If they really want to spend time with you, they'll learn to schedule time sooner. Let them pursue you.

3. You’re an Outsider to their World

When a person isn’t ready to commit, they'll keep you separate from their world of work, friends, and family. If you’ve been dating more than 6 weeks and haven’t met anyone important to them yet, they are clearly unsure if you belong in their life.

Solution: Invite Yourself In

When your partner does call, say you’d love to meet their friends. Offer to set up a friendly group date- with some of your friends and theirs. When a person really wants to be with you, they want to show you off! If they balk- it’s a sign they are not right for you.

4. You’re Skating on the Superficial Surface

Does your partner still feel like a stranger? That’s because they aren't ready to invite you into their inner life. If you have to pry the deeper thoughts and feelings out, then they not choosing to connect on an authentic level.

Solution: Share Your Vision

When two people click, it’s natural for them to talk about their vision for the future- their hopes, fears, and dreams for a better life. So bring up your own wishes, you don’t have to talk about the future of the relationship. If your partner doesn’t get engaged with this conversation, it’s a clear sign they not invested in you yet.

If after stepping back and trying these tips for up to a month, your partner still isn’t filling that space by connecting more deeply and regularly with you, then it’s time to move on to a person who values you as much as you value them!

Readers: What signs has your commitment-phobe given you and what did you do about it? Please share!

Thanks to Galtime.com for publishling this original article.

Have You Made YOUR Soulmate Resolution?

If you’re still single, chances are you’re ready to find the right partner and begin enjoying the benefits of happy coupledom.

To boost your odds of finding the right match, here are some commitments you can make to yourself to ensure you really will attract the perfect partner.


Resolution 1: Re-Boot the Inner You

Every single has ideas that are holding you back: thoughts of lack, limitation, or impossibility that keep you from attracting the kind of high quality partner you deserve. Whether you think you are too old, too big, too short, or too broke to find real love, it’s only a myth because there is someone for everyone.


Don’t let inaccurate perceptions stop you from stepping out and staying in the game of love. Clean up your self-talk until the messages you give yourself about love are energizing and uplifting. That inner sparkle will attract outer attention!


Resolution 2: Restyle the Outer You


Once you clean up the inner you, the outer you could use some polish. Consider which aspect of your physical appearance needs updating- hair, clothes, fitness?- to go along with your new attitude. Discover what would make you feel like a great catch, and then let your new confidence highlight your fresh features.


When you look great, you feel great and that will be attractive to the perfect kind of partner!


Resolution 3: Resist Inaction


Most singles get frustrated after a couple of let-downs, then they give up their search for real love.

But to be successful at attracting the ideal partner this year, you’ve got to stay in action, rotating your strategies until someone clicks.

Commit to a novel act or activity at least twice a month, whether it’s trying a new online dating site, going to a different singles event, or even getting your coffee or lunch at an unusual location. By mixing it up, you’ll increase your exposure to new people- any of whom may be the perfect match!


Resolution 4: Stay on Track

Once you’re dating, it can be hard to remember that your ultimate outcome is to find the best partner, not just any partner. It’s easy to just keep sliding forward in a barely right relationship, wasting precious time you could be using to find a great match.

So give any budding bond 3 months and if it’s missing momentum, bow out and stay on the lookout for someone who really is your ideal partner!


With these 4 commitments, you’ll be on your way to attracting the kind of love that really can last a lifetime!

Readers: What commitment are you ready to make to ensure you will find love this year? Please share!

4 Steps to Surviving a Singles New Year’s Eve (and Thriving!)

When you’re craving the loving lips of your perfect partner to kiss at midnight, it’s kind of a downer to be all alone.

But you can make 2011 the year you finally meet your ideal mate. And New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to step into a slate-clearing ritual which will be the first step to attracting real love next year.

So instead of heading out to a party, where the sight of all those happy couples might send you into a spiral of depression, here’s an uplifting way to spend the first night of the New Year.

New Year Ritual for Singles

Step 1: Set the Space for Romance

Create a comforting space where you can reflect upon last year and your desires for next year- maybe with candles, music, warm blankets, and your favorite snacks. The mood you are aiming for is gratitude: grateful appreciation for what has been and grateful expectation for what will be.

Step 2: Express Gratitude for the Gifts

Make a gratitude list from all of your dating experience last year. First focus on all of the experiences you don’t actually feel grateful for.

As you list them, tune into what the lesson was in each uncomfortable event. What was the gift? How was it asking you to step into your Best Self? Can you be appreciative of that opportunity? Wrap your list up with all of the dating experiences you actually do feel gratitude for.

Soak in that attitude of gratitude as you read your list out loud, thanking each person for the gem of opportunity they offered to you even if you didn’t recognize the gift until right this moment.

Step 3: Write Your Love Story

From this warm-hearted space, let’s step into your vision of love in the New Year. It’s time to write your very own love story. Yup- I want you to imagine what it will look and feel like once you are happily in love with your ideal partner.

Picture a scene you are looking forward to experiencing and write it out with all the details of every sense- what will you see, feel, hear, touch, taste, smell? Bring it to life in all it’s glory. Now you have a visualization you can use every day- once you step into this feeling, you become a mate magnet.

Step 4: Invite Your Mate to Join You

Standing in your power as a mate magnet, the last step to our ritual is to compose a letter to your beloved. After experiencing this future scene, what are all of the things you wish to say to the love of your life?

Consider this paper at once a thank you note, a love letter, and a personal invitation for this person to appear in your life. Once it’s done, place it in an envelope, and put it in a special drawer that you have cleared to be your partners once they show up.

Then go to sleep with the grateful expectation that real love will be yours in the new year, knowing that you just set the stage perfectly for your true love to walk into your life and sweep you off your feet.

Singles: How will you welcome love into the New Year? Share!

Top 5 Must-Do New Years Resolutions for Singles

If you are ringing in the New Year all alone, chances are you’re ready to finally find love in 2011.

Of course, January is the perfect time to wipe your slate clean of last year’s love mistakes to ensure that next year really is filled with lasting love.

If you are serious about fast forwarding to the relationship of your dreams, it’s time to commit to the following six resolutions.

1. Bust Old Patterns

If your luck in love is going to be different next year, the first thing you need to do is get honest with yourself about the patterns that are holding you back.

Think back through the last few years- which experiences have you had over and over? Do you pursue while he withdraws? Are you forever rescuing her?

Resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes, then walk away, so you can create new, healthy habits pronto.

2. Date Outside Your Type

Chances are if “your type” hasn’t panned out for you by now, it’s time to discover a new type. Quirky artist not working out so well? Mr. Wall Street never emotionally available?

Resolve to date outside your normal comfort zone. Consider opening up your expectations in regard to age, height, income, race, job, etc.

Soulmates come in unexpected packages- broaden your horizon and you’re more apt to stumble upon an unexpected perfect match.

3. Ditch the Duds Fast

The best way to fast forward to The One? Stop wasting your time with people who are clearly only Mr./Ms. Right Now.

As long as you give away your valuable time, attention, and emotion to the wrong partner, you’ll never find the right relationship. Limit yourself to three months of dating, if the bond doesn’t obviously have more potential by then, move on.

4. Blast through Dating Ruts

Yup- doing what you’ve always done, will get you what you’ve always gotten. If you haven’t found the right partner during your usual routine, it’s time to get creative in your daily & dating activities.

Join new groups, take novel classes, or frequent different coffee shops, bookstores, hiking trails, & grocery stores. Your ideal mate is out there- if you are always somewhere new, doing something different, you maximize the chances of serendipity working it’s magic.

5. Share Your Best Self

Maybe it’s not just what you are doing that needs a makeover, but who you are and how you show up! Get real with yourself by asking: What about you isn’t as attractive as it could be?

Ask your closest friend for honest feedback. Do you tend to be overly anxious or pessimistic? Are quick to pass judgment or so shy you fade into the background? Maybe it’s time to hit the gym, get some cute clothes, or try a new hairstyle?

When you step into your best self, you’ll more naturally attract a better partner- the one you truly deserve.

By making these 5 commitments, you’ll be well on your way to making 2011 the year you finally find true love!

Readers: What's your New Years Resolution to find love? Please share!

3 Steps to Finding Love in 2011

Being single around the holidays can, well, suck. But it doesn’t have to for long, because you can focus on getting jazzed up about finally finding The One in 2011.

Woo-hoo!

To boost your chances of attracting real love next year, there are really only 3 simple steps you need to take. If you start focusing on them now, by the time you ring in the New Year, you can be fast-forwarding yourself towards the love you deserve.

But, if you get all bah-hum-bug on me and stay stuck in a rut of old patterns. Well, I hate to say it, but 2011 will probably look a lot like 2010 did- without the love of your life gracing your days.

So, let’s leap into the New Year ready to manifest real, lasting love into your life.

Get started now with these 3 Steps for Finding Love in 2011

1. Extend Gratitude for your Love Lessons

Before you’ll be ready to really attract a new kind of love that is deeply fulfilling, you’ll have to take a serious look at what you created last year in the love department.

Sit down with a notebook and go through all of your love experiences in 2010 and identify the MAJOR LESSONS each experience invited you to learn.

Now, dig deep into your heart and express some gratitude to each of these people who offered these lessons- because if you had not learned these lessons you wouldn’t be ready to meet The One.

Really.

So find the part of your heart that can really and truly be thankful for each and every one of these not so perfect partners.


2. Clarify the Pattern

With your lessons front and center, you should be able to recognize the patterns you tend to play out in your love life.

Take some thoughtful time to get super clear about:

- The kind of partner you tend to attract (the good and not so good qualities)

- The kinds of unhappy interactions you tend to have with partners

- The ways in which your needs tend to remain unfulfilled

- The behaviors you engage in which keep this cycle going on


3. Set Your Action Plan

Awesome- now that you know what ISN’T working, commit to doing something new that will work!

Based on your insights about the old patterns, create some new dating rules for yourself so you can create a new pattern. And get a buddy to hold you accountable so that real love can be yours this year.

For example,

- If fear held you back and you hardly met anyone last year, grab a single friend and commit to going to 2 singles events a month.


- If you keep falling for emotionally unavailable partners, commit to walking out the door as soon as you see the old warning signs so you can stay available for a great partner.


- If you tend to find fault with everyone you date, commit to giving everyone 3 chances- you never know what a little time might do for your bond.


You get the idea- bust out of your dating ruts, and soon lasting love can be your reward. Make 2011 the year you finally find The One- you deserve it.

And we’ll be right here with you, supporting you toward creating Authentic Attraction that can result in Love that Lasts a Lifetime!

Give yourself the gift of love! Not sure how to clear the old patterns? Our 3 part- e-course, Super Charge Your Soulmate Magnet will help you shift out of the old so you can begin attracting real love right away!

Ready to take action now? I found my husband online and you can too- I can help: Meet Your Mate Online

Top 3 Dating Lessons from the Bachelorette

Can you find real love on a reality TV show? Doubtful. Since the conditions aren't real!

But you can learn REAL love lessons from all that drama. Let's take a peek at this season's Bachelorette, Ali, to see what insights her journey offer for those looking for real life lasting love.

Lesson 1: Juggling is Oh-So-Good

The Bachelorette is set up so Ali gets to date a ton of guys at a time. While you may never have 25 guys vying for your attention at one time (and it isn't smart to actually fall in love with more than one at a time!), there is some wisdom to getting to know a few prospects at a time.

That's what I call Juggling, and it's perfect because it keeps you moving toward finding real love with fewer time outs when guys up and disappear. And it's less heartbreaking when one or more disqualify themselves from the running- because you still have hope another option will pan out.

Plus, when you spread your attention out over a few qualified prospects, you take the time to go slower- getting to know the real person behind the persona. This means you won't make the mistake of falling head over heels for a mere image of the perfect partner before you know what's on the inside. By going slowly, you can build a solid love, one date at a time.


Lesson 2: Follow Your Gut

One of Ali's most genuine connections from the start was with Frank. Yet, something wasn't quite right. She even said it herself a few dates in, something like: "What scares me is you have the potential to break my heart."

BINGO! Fast forward several episodes to where Ali has chosen Frank to stay in the top 3 and he informs her he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend! Ouch! Now her heart is broken and she sent home good guys who could have been The One.

The moral? Always listen to your instincts. If something feels off, 90% of the time, it is and you shouldn't slide forward in your connection until you get it figured out. Bring your concerns up and don't ignore them until it feels right.

A good line to try: "Is there something you aren't telling me?" If the answer doesn't feel right, don't trust it, move on.


Lesson 3: Listen to Your Friends

Oh boy, the hunky Wrestler. An upstanding man in pursuit of real love or a fake, selfish publicity seeker? That was the question from the very first episode- when all the men voted Justin off- they just didn't trust him.

But his charming, smooth ways won over Ali in spite of everyone else's opinion. Only to find out mid-way through that he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home- he was a dishonorable liar. And again, Ali sent home quality guys to keep this phony.

The lesson? When in doubt, always listen to the opinion of close friends and family who often have clearer judgment that isn't clouded by hopes of love and hormones. If no one likes your new date- there is a reason- get to the bottom of it before love leaves you with a broken heart.

While true love isn't easy to find on TV, you have high hopes of creating a lasting love when you date smart!

Readers: Which hunky prospect would you have choosen for Ali? For yourself? Let us know!

Wondering how much longer it's gonna be until you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn's Attractor Factor quiz and discover what's keeping you from finding real, lasting love. Haven't you waited long enough? Become a Massive Love Magnet today! Take the quiz now: http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com

Online Dating: The Most Expensive Mistake Sites Want You to KEEP Making!

Online dating is an excellent way to finally find the perfect partner you’ve been waiting for. But only if you master the art of online dating with authenticity and charm.

Which isn’t as simple as it seems.

In part, because there is a dirty little secret the online dating sites don’t want you to know.

That’s because as long as you keep making this mistake, you’ll never find The One.

Which works out nicely for the sites since you’ll keep handing over your hard earned money in the hopes of eventually attracting real love.

What’s this secret?

That the Wink or Smile feature doesn’t work!

Some time ago, most of the popular Internet dating sites added a fancy new feature that seemed, at first glance, to be a fantastic idea: The Wink or Smile.

With this feature, it took only one click to let new cuties know that you were interested in them- without having to write a word.

It seemed to make perfect sense.

The apparent benefit? It immediately streamlined the time it took you to reach out and express your interest to more potential dates than ever.

A good thing?

Absolutely not!

Because there was a Hidden Downfall:
Winks or Smiles don’t work because they are actually an INSULT!

Really? An Insult?

Oh yes, because here is what you are REALLY communicating when you send a wink or smile:

I’m not interested in you enough to spend a moment to write you a short, thoughtful email. I’m only willing to expend the effort it takes to press this button once.

See what I mean?

Hardly a compliment that makes the recipient want to expend ANY energy looking at your profile to see if you are worth writing back to.

Nope! That’s why the vast majority of winks or smiles get ignored.

So not only are they a total waste of your time, but you are actually missing out on great dates and maybe even bypassing The ONE!!!

That’s because some of those people you winked at would surely have responded to you if only you had taken the time to write them a compelling greeting instead!

So, this set up certainly works for the online dating sites- right? Because they look like good guys- giving you a quick and easy way to connect.

But it’s actually a DIS-connect working against you finding love- in essence, ensuring that you stay a paying member on their site for a good long time.

That’s why savvy, successful online daters NEVER use the wink or smile.

Instead they write an engaging, meaningful greeting email and score dozens more dates than you.

All leading them to finding the love they’ve been waiting for!

Readers: Does the wink or smile feature insult you? Let us know!

Do you have the skills it takes to find love online?
Find out now- take the Online Attraction Quiz:
MeetYourMateOnline.com