Last weekend, we hosted the first ever, Adventure Dating at the Ranch event, at my holistic healing horse ranch, Happily Ever After, outside Denver Colorado.
We had a huge turnout with 56 singles who were courageously ready for an Adventure in Love!
As rotating teams, they got to experience 9 Adventure Stations with a variety of active, creative, and get-to-know-you challenges. All designed to have fun while you get an inside peek into each other's real personality.
Laughter was heard throughout the property! Remember, how I told you the only reason we hosted this event was because I had the inspiration that someone was supposed to meet their soulmate???
Well, 14 matches were made that day and already several of them have taken off at a full speed run toward love!
I can't wait to hear how these new couples forge ahead on their journey toward creating their own Happily Ever After!
Check out the fun during the 3 active challenges: Noodle Golf, Blind Duo Obstacle Course, Tethered-to-Me Obstacle Challenge.
I can *almost* guarantee that someone is going to meet their soulmate on Saturday, Septmeber 26th at our inaugrual Adventure Speed Dating at the Ranch event outside Denver, CO!
"Why?," you ask. Read on. As some of you already know, my passion is helping singles attract their soulmate. Since the time I was 12 years old, I’ve never been interested in anything else but love!
But honestly, before now I’ve never been interested in hosting big events like this one. Helping people one on one and in small groups is more my cup of tea.
Then, inspiration struck.
Funny, really.
I was listening to a meditation tape so I should have been focused on it, but I found myself thinking about my friend and colleague Mary Jo Fay, who hosts bi-weekly singles events (Denver 's Best Dating, Mating, and Relating Group). My immediate thought was: “I’d never want to host an event like that.”
Instantly, however, the idea of Adventure Speed Dating popped into my mind. Actually, the details of it flooded my brain. So much so that I couldn’t finish my meditation!!!
I let the ideas come in and settled on, “Hmm, that’s interesting. Sounds like a great concept. But I have no interest in hosting an event.”
And I put the idea to rest.
Only it wouldn’t let me rest. Literally.
For several nights, I would fall asleep, only to wake up an hour later. Once again, details for the event poured in, one idea after another.
“Ok, Ok, I get it, it’s a fantastic idea. But still, I don’t want to do it,” was my reply.
By the third night of this incessant information download, I scribbled down the details and I finally pleaded with the powers that be: “FINE! I’ll do it if you will let me get back to sleep!”
With that promise came a sudden knowing that went like this, “Great, because someone is supposed to meet their soulmate at this event, so we really need you to keep your word!”
So, here it is, my contribution to helping soulmates find each other. It’s bound to happen, otherwise the idea would have died a cold and lonely death the first time it came to me.
Because I’ve learned there is no coincidence- only serendipity. Call it what you will- intuition, gut feeling, a hunch, Universal Guidance. When it comes in strongly, I’ve discovered you are a fool to ignore it.
And besides, now I am totally jazzed because I think, "What's cooler than helping soulmates find each other, especially if it's fun to boot?!"
And so, that's how Adventure Speed Dating at the Ranch was born. And I can’t wait to see who gets to meet their soulmate! If I told you the story of how I met my soulmate, Greg, you’d believe that serendipity plays a role. Now that I have that amazing kind of love in my life, I’m committed to helping everyone else find it too.
So, if you’ve found your way to this web page, if you’ve heard about this event in any way at all, there is probably a good reason. Consider yourself Universally Guided to be there. And I’m extending to you a warm, personal invitation.
I, for one, listened to the Guidance (even if it was unwillingly at first!). I did my part. Now all you have to do is show up too!
Then we can both laugh at how neither one of us originally wanted to come, but heck yea, it was fun and wasn’t it the best decision we ever made!
After all, I’d hate for you to miss your soulmate!
Here’s to soulmates coming together in perfect harmony,
Dr. Jenn
PS. By the way, if you have a friend who has been waiting, wishing, and hoping to find a soulmate who doesn’t seem to be showing up- now may be the time to beg, plead, or cajole them into coming with you. Because you may very well be the human angel designated to lead them to their soulmate. You may be the link that brings them together!
I wish I could say that this hardly ever happens, so don't worry about it. But people not keeping their word happens all the time, especially when dating!
So, what to do when he doesn't call when he said he would? That's what one of my clients wanted to know recently.
Here's what I told her.
Typically- if someone does something like this once, you can blow it off (if you want)- but if it happens more than once, then don't ever ignore it!
Ignoring things never makes them go away- it usually makes them worse!
Why? Because when someone does something more than once, they are showing you a pattern of behavior. And patterns indicate their underlying personality.
And when YOU put up with a pattern of behavior from someone- you set up the expectation that the behavior is ok with you. Which means: You'll get more of the same behavior in the future.
So, when someone doesn't keep their word and that's not ok with you (as it shouldn't be!), then it's worth addressing.
Lucky you, handling these supposedly "uncomfortable" topics, can be super simple when you know how to use the "I Noticed..." Strategy.
Here's how to stand up for yourself and set clear, healthy boundaries, right from the beginning with the people in your life, love life included.
Using the "I Noticed..." Strategy
Step 1: Find a quiet, calm time to bring up your concern.
That means you are relaxed and no longer ticked off. AND, it seems like a convenient, easy-going time for your friend.
Step 2: Bring up your concern gracefully, casually using "I noticed..."
Just casually work into your conversation something like: "Hey, I noticed ... that you were going to call on Tues but I didn't hear from you till today...."
Step 3: Pause and WAIT for their response.
Just let your "I noticed" statement hang out there for a moment and they will have to say something about it. Usually you will learn alot from what the person says next.
Either you'll get a useful explanation and/or apology, or you may get a bunch of BS.
Either way, you are learning more about this person to help you decide if this is indeed someone you want in your life.
You may chat a bit from here, or...
Step 4: Make a clear request by setting your boundary.
Often, it's helpful to end your discussion with a clear request about what you need.
Something like, "Hey that's cool this time, but just so you know, keeping my word is really important to me, so I'd appreciate it if we both kept our word to each other."
Right here, you've made your expectations clear. You are setting the boundary for how it's ok to treat you.
Plus- by putting it in "we" terms, you make it clear that you aren't pointing the finger, this isn't only about THEM.
It about the two of you together, in relationship to each other.
So, it's more about entering into an explicit agreement to pay attention to each other's needs, rather than a slap on the wrist.
From here, things will either go swimmingly in the future, or not so much- if they aren't the right person for you.
Step 5: Follow up the next time
Hopefully, your new expectation will clear up any misunderstanding and things go full speed ahead. But if your new partner can't or won't respect your request- then you pretty much have your decision made for you: They just aren't a good fit for you.
If it happens again, try something like:
"Gee, I noticed that even though we talked about keeping our word to each other, it seems like that just isn't happening. What do you think is up with that?"
These types of conversations either bring you closer as you come to a deeper understanding of each other, or they drive you apart because you simply don't see the world or your relationship the same way.
However it goes, it brings the Gift of Clarity to you so you know how best to move forward towards your goal of creating a love that lasts a lifetime!
Readers: Try out the "I noticed..." statement with someone in your life today and let us know how it goes!
I was out the other weekend at the nightclub Proof- it’s a popular Denver dance spot for the 40+ crowd.
I was chatting with some folks about what it takes to attract your soulmate, or heck, even your next date, when I noticed a very interesting woman on the dance floor.
I was drawn to her not because of her extraordinary good looks, but because of her GLOW.
She had an effervescent charm that exuded from every pore of her. She was not the youngest, the most scantily clad, or the best looking woman in the place- but she was clearly, unabashedly ENJOYING herself.
The result? I almost couldn’t take my eyes off of her- I loved watching her dance because her warm, happy, playful spirit showed through.
I would bet you that every man in the place noticed her the way I noticed her- because she was shining such brilliance you couldn’t help but be attracted to her radiance!
Sure, it didn’t hurt that she was wearing a cute outfit that included a fashionable skirt- but what was so compelling about her was the relaxed, confident, fun-loving vibe she put off so easily, effortlessly.
That’s the Soulmate Magnet Vibe.
And when you master stepping into your Best, most Authentic Self, you’ll be able to shine that radiant brilliance and attract the attention of great, emotionally available partners who are ready to share themselves with you.
Readers: What helps you step into your own Brilliant Radiance? And how do others respond to you? Please share!
If you are ready to own your Best, Authentic Self and attract your perfect partner, skip on over to www.MySoulmateSolution.com for all of the resources you need for support on your soulmate journey!
Most of us spend a lot of energy protecting ourselves from our emotions: denying, resisting, repressing, distracting- anything but allowing them!
But the key to peace and happinessis learning to embrace ALL of your emotions.
This can be especially tricky when dating- which is known as being an emotional roller coaster ride of highs and lows.
But if you can practice welcoming all of your feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, they will pass more quickly- leaving you in that peaceful, calm place that attracts a great partner!
So discover how to stop struggling with your emotions and rest in that open, warm, loving space that will invite wonderful people and opportunities into your life.
Listen Now: 19 min
Join us every Monday at noon, Mountain time for another great Meditation Monday!
NEW Call In NUMBER: 218-862-7200 Access Code : 909472
Readers: How did accepting a difficult emotion open up space for attraction in your life? Please share!
So things aren't going as well as you hoped in your dating life?!
Recently on her blog, Ann Strong shared an amazing secret:
How to feel anything you are missing, anytime, from the inside out!
It was so smart, I had to share it with you.
Here’s what she says:
“Working with the simple yet powerful concept that I already have everything I need inside me, I notice what’s causing the fear or anxiety and then find a way to know it from the inside rather than expect it from the outside.”
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!
Especially when it comes to attracting love!
So, how to work this process?
Let’s look at a common dating example.
You’ve been trying online dating and you are getting zip, zero response. You log on for the millionth time and NOPE, still no tempting emails from sexy suitors.
So, you tune inward and wonder:
Why do I SO want to be “discovered” online?
What will a hello email do for me?
And you notice:
I want to feel wanted! Loved!
I want to feel attractive!
I want to feel hope!
Great, so pick the one you would like to work with (or all of them):
How can you feel loved, how can you be Love, right now?
How can you feel attractive, how can you be Beauty, right now?
How can you feel hope, how can you beHope, right now?
Now, you may need to be creative next. But I am sure you can discover something, anything that helps you step into feeling loved, attractive, or hopeful! So, go do that now!
- Maybe you always feel loved when you chat with your best friend, but it’s been too long- call her.
- Maybe you embody love when you volunteer with homeless pets- get into action.
- Maybe you feel beautiful when you put on that special red dress and go dancing- grab a friend and go.
- Maybe sitting in a gorgeous flower garden helps you step into Beauty- GO!
- Maybe listening to your favorite uplifting piece of music always inspires in you hope- put it on!
- Maybe every time you tutor your niece, you both feel hopeful- get over there!
You get the idea!
The beauty of this work is that you Take Back your Power!
You no longer accept being a “victim” of a withholding Universe.
You refuse to wait for something to happen to make you all right.
The other gift of this work is that it immediately takes you out of a yucky, dark place into a sweet, light place.
AND, of course, that’ll make you much more attractive to the opposite sex. Bringing you that much closer to finding real love!
The key here is that once you shine something from within, it’ll show up on the outside in your life- ready to match what you already are!
So, take back your power and start living from the inside out today! Your love life will thank you!
Readers: How has taking back your power helped something show up in your life? Please share!
Does it feel like something is holding your love life back, but you're not sure what?
You are probably being sabotaged by a Lack of Completion.
When things from your past are not fully completed, it’s like there is a heavy anchor chaining you to the past, keeping you from moving full steam ahead to attract your soulmate.
Almost worst, it’s like you’ve left little pieces of yourself back there, so that now, you no longer feel whole, complete.
In his book, Five Wishes, Gay Hendricks talks about his wish for "completion." For him that meant: "As I go through life, there's nothing significant I leave unsaid or undone."
On his healing journey- he goes back and says and does all of the things he knew he should have done- so that he could be in full integrity, in the present. He found that he felt 100 pounds lighter.
That lightness & wholeness is what you need to attract your soulmate.
Without that completion, it’s like you’ve dropped dozens of small and larger anchors in the past- all sucking your energy, vitality, and your ability to be a soulmate magnet!
So, it’s time for Spring Cleaning.
But this will be unlike any spring cleaning you’ve done before!
This spring, I challenge you to do a Completion Clean Up.
Our goal: To clean up anything that hasn’t been completed from your past.
We’re not necessarily talking about all the things on your current To-Do list here.
Similar to Gay Hendrick’s concept, we’re talking about all of the emotionally important things you’ve left unsaid and undone, ESPECIALLY related to past relationships.
I’m encouraging you to wipe your love slate clean by creating closure in every major relationship you’ve ever had. If there is anything you still need to say or do, to once and for all, KNOW you’ve done what you needed to do- NOW is the time to do it!
It’s only from a place clear of past attachments or weights, that we can generate the clarity and freedom to move forward and attract a healthy, happy love that lasts. Liberated from the chains of the past, completion will set you free to create soulmate love!
I invite you to create your own Completion List now and act on it!
5 Steps to Completion
1. Write down a list of all of the major or emotionally significant relationships you’ve ever had in your life. (Or anything else that springs to mind that needs attention for closure.)
2. One by one, consider your experiences with each person and wonder:
Is there anything I’ve left unsaid or undone with this person?
Is there anything that still feels bad to me about the way I’ve left it?
Is there anything I need to do for closure?
Is there anything I need to do to be in full integrity?
3. Write down a clear statement of anything that needs completion. Include what you intend to do AND a date by which you commit to doing it.
If it's not possible to get in contact with someone- don't skip them! Try one of the following: do the process in your mind, have a ritual, write a letter you never send or have someone bear witness to what you wanted to say or do.
4. After each time you do something on your list, make some notes about how it feels to have done that completion.
Remember, a successful completion isn’t really about how the other person responds to you (you won’t always get a welcome reception!), but about YOU doing what YOU need for YOU to feel like YOU are in integrity.
5. Once you’ve finished acting on your entire Completion List, it’s time to have a ritual to cut the chains from those heavily weighted past anchors and to call back all of the little pieces of yourself you left behind- so you stand free and whole in the Now.
In fact, next Monday, May 18th, at noonMountain Time we’ll be doing a Completion Visualization for Meditation Monday. If this idea of Completion is compelling to you, I encourage you to attend and get a jump start on your list. If you can’t make it, we’ll have it posted on the blog for you to listen to later.
NEW Call In NUMBER: 218-862-7200
Access Code : 909472
This spring, create the space for clear sailing ahead! Give yourself the gift of a clean slate so you’ll be ready to attract your real soulmate and create the love you deserve!
Readers: Let me know how your Spring Completion Clean Up goes!! And if you run into any problems, I'll help you troubleshoot!
I'm Starting a Soulmate Revolution!
I want to see the world filled with happy, loving soulmate relationships.
That's my passion!
And as a psychologist and dating coach who has found my own soulmate- I'm not stopping until you find yours!
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