Online Dating: The Most Expensive Mistake Sites Want You to KEEP Making!

Online dating is an excellent way to finally find the perfect partner you’ve been waiting for. But only if you master the art of online dating with authenticity and charm.

Which isn’t as simple as it seems.

In part, because there is a dirty little secret the online dating sites don’t want you to know.

That’s because as long as you keep making this mistake, you’ll never find The One.

Which works out nicely for the sites since you’ll keep handing over your hard earned money in the hopes of eventually attracting real love.

What’s this secret?

That the Wink or Smile feature doesn’t work!

Some time ago, most of the popular Internet dating sites added a fancy new feature that seemed, at first glance, to be a fantastic idea: The Wink or Smile.

With this feature, it took only one click to let new cuties know that you were interested in them- without having to write a word.

It seemed to make perfect sense.

The apparent benefit? It immediately streamlined the time it took you to reach out and express your interest to more potential dates than ever.

A good thing?

Absolutely not!

Because there was a Hidden Downfall:
Winks or Smiles don’t work because they are actually an INSULT!

Really? An Insult?

Oh yes, because here is what you are REALLY communicating when you send a wink or smile:

I’m not interested in you enough to spend a moment to write you a short, thoughtful email. I’m only willing to expend the effort it takes to press this button once.

See what I mean?

Hardly a compliment that makes the recipient want to expend ANY energy looking at your profile to see if you are worth writing back to.

Nope! That’s why the vast majority of winks or smiles get ignored.

So not only are they a total waste of your time, but you are actually missing out on great dates and maybe even bypassing The ONE!!!

That’s because some of those people you winked at would surely have responded to you if only you had taken the time to write them a compelling greeting instead!

So, this set up certainly works for the online dating sites- right? Because they look like good guys- giving you a quick and easy way to connect.

But it’s actually a DIS-connect working against you finding love- in essence, ensuring that you stay a paying member on their site for a good long time.

That’s why savvy, successful online daters NEVER use the wink or smile.

Instead they write an engaging, meaningful greeting email and score dozens more dates than you.

All leading them to finding the love they’ve been waiting for!

Readers: Does the wink or smile feature insult you? Let us know!

Do you have the skills it takes to find love online?
Find out now- take the Online Attraction Quiz:
MeetYourMateOnline.com

The 3 Best First-Date Compliments to Ensure a Second Date!

Do you find yourself going on plenty of first dates, but never getting to the second date? Or maybe it’s a challenge to even get to the first date?

If so, you might need to polish the skills it takes to create an authentic attraction, one that creates enough curiosity that you are naturally lead to the next date.

Thankfully, the Art of Authentic Attraction is simple enough! It’s all about coming from your heart so you can connect to the heart of your date.

Below you’ll discover the 3 Best Compliments to give your date to build instant connection, heart to heart. Once a connection is created, the desire to learn more about each other is sparked, giving you the opportunity to meet again.

Of course, you can only offer these words of praise if they are genuine- otherwise, you aren’t being authentic, you’re playing a game! So keep in mind, it’s ok to personalize your compliments to the strengths you see in your date.

Compliment 1: “I love the sparkle in your eyes.”

The eyes are indeed the window to the soul, so take the time to make deep meaningful eye contact with your date, seeing past the outer imperfections to the inner beauty.

As you do, let them know you appreciate the sparkle you see there. With this comment, you are reflecting the energy of WHO they are. And everyone loves to be SEEN for who they really are.

Since people so frequently don’t recognize each other for the energy they are bringing to the moment, when you do, you’ll immediately create a spark of curiosity in your date- based on a real, mini-heart bond.

A bond you can build on during the rest of your date.

Compliment 2: “Wow, I really admire your passion about that!”

Ask your date what they are passionate about and keep asking them questions about it until they literally come alive right in front of you.

When talking about their passion people actually become more attractive AND your sincere interest in their passion makes you immediately more attractive as well. So it’s a double bonus leading to chemistry.

Plus when you honor someone’s innate interests, you create commonality, boosting their desire to see you again.

Compliment 3: “I love the way I feel around you! You make me feel ________!”

We all crave recognition for being the great people we are. But in our rushed world, we don’t often get to directly see the positive impact we have on each other.

So, when you honestly share with someone how they have affected you, you immediately open their heart, because once again, they feel SEEN, creating a robust connection.

Practice playing with these 3 compliments to see how much instant connection and chemistry can create the opportunity for so many more happy dates leading to real lasting love!

Readers: What compliment helped you score a second date? Or what compliment was given to you that opened your heart? Please share!

Love Lessons from LOST: Are you a Jack or Sawyer Girl?

What will I do without my weekly fix of the hot guys on the steamy island of LOST?

I'll be honest- Jack is more my style- a gorgeous man trying to save the tribe, who's also vulnerable enough to cry- THAT steals my heart.

And drives my husband crazy, "Is that MAN crying AGAIN!" Oh yes, baby, he IS! ;)

But, give me a night alone with Sawyer, and well, I'll appreciate that opportunity as well.

But, if you're looking for a lifetime of love- Jack is your best bet.

Actually- the point is, both of these cuties have baggage, and so most likely do you.

The real question is: Which type of baggage can you most easily live with???

If you pick Sawyer, with his bad-boy good looks, you also get his prickly, sometimes deceptive, "I may be outta here in a moment" attitude.

He's sexy, and if he loves you, you can probably count on him in a pinch, but is it really worth all of the drama? That defensive bristle isn't so easy to get along with for the long haul. And his need for space, his desire to hide his true emotions, and his requirement of always having an escape route- well, those all spell trouble in paradise for you.

Besides, he always looks, so.... pinched! Where's the smile, babe?

If you find yourself routinely attracted to the Sawyer type, it's likely you end up with more than your fair share of broken hearts and it might just be time to try a little more Jack-like romance.

Jack's baggage? Well, trying to gain the approval of a father in whose eyes he was never enough, Jack has an insatiable urge to be the good guy, trying to save the world, and trying to do right by you.

He's loyal almost to a fault, because integrity is all he has to prop up his sense of doubt about his worth. This is a man who will do anything to win your love and save your relationship.

That’s the kind of baggage that’s easy to live with because it supports you in building a bond that can withstand a lifetime of LOST like challenges.

If you typically fall for men like Jack, it's safe to say that one of these days you'll hit the JACKpot and find a keeper.

While you might be tempted occasionally to stray into the sexy arms of his rival Sawyer- Jack's the man who will really have your back.

If I'm ever stranded on a tropical island- Jack's gonna be my main man!

How about you?

Start by assessing your own baggage and when you meet a potential partner, be sure to see if their baggage compliments, or aggravates your own.

If it’s smooth sailing, you can be assured of sunny seas ahead. But if you push each other’s buttons, stormy seas mean it may make sense to bail out now and save yourself!

Readers: Who would YOU choose? Please share!

Read what the writers at Tango see as the 5 LOST Love Lessons. I'm not sure I agree with them about Sawyer tho!

Are One of These 3 Biggest Blocks to Love Detouring Your Love Life?

If you are still single and searching for the perfect partner you’ve got to be wondering, “WHY isn’t this happening for me?!”

Looking for true, lasting love can be frustrating and disappointing.

But when you’ve got one of the most common love blocks working it’s obstructive action in your life, real love becomes painfully impossible!

Take a peek inside to see if any of these widespread love detours are delaying the arrival of your vision of relationship bliss. Then discover a powerful way to dissolve these blocks so you can move ahead to make your dreams of love a reality.

Love Blocker 1: Feeling Unworthy

Most of us think we’ve resolved any lingering doubts about our worthiness to enjoy a great relationship. But often, there are feelings of self-doubt, low self esteem, or unattractiveness still hidden in our heart. Deep down, we’re just not convinced we’re lovable just the way we are.

Love Block Melter 1
It’s time to banish those doubts once and for all. And what’s more powerful than a room full of friends holding up a mirror showing you how awesome you really are!? So gather your closest friends and family and throw a Gratitude Party.

Have each person write a letter sand read it out loud, telling you why you deserve to have the most loving relationship. When you are surrounded by this much authentic love, it’ll melt away old wounds in a heart beat!

Love Blocker 2: Fear of Being Hurt

Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart, and after about the 10^th time, many people wall up their hearts and put in heavy-duty security to ensure they never feel that way again. But then, the good love can’t get through either and many a well-meaning partner will give up trying to break down the walls.

Love Block Melter 2

Get back in the game and start taking smart risks. Once you meet a quality potential partner, whom all your friends agree seems good for you, begin opening up slowly and surely. Share yourself like a fine novel, allowing them to see all sides of yourself, one chapter at a time.

If they start to act untrustworthy, put on the brakes and proceed with caution, only investing yourself in equal amounts to what they offer you- this ensures the relationships grows in balance- and hinders major heartbreak.

Love Blocker 3: Repeating Past Mistakes

Nothing will net you a broken heart faster than repeating the same old painful mistakes…falling for the same deadbeat type, or playing out patterns that cause pain.

It’s time to create a healthy new map to love!

Love Block Melter 3

Sit down with a trusted friend and review your past partners and relationships. Notice any commonalities that lead to destructive outcomes. Once you know where you’ve gone astray, you can set new guidelines to steer your love life in a new rewarding direction. Then keep your friend on tap to remind you when you’re straying into dangerous territory. By making small, ongoing corrections in your course, you can be onto real love around the next corner!

READERS: What's been YOUR biggest block to love? Please share!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner!

As a dating coach, the first question my single clients always ask me is: Where do I find The One?!

Of course, if I had the real answer to that question, I’d be a psychic worth millions!

But there are some unexpected places you may not have thought about to bump into true love.

By taking a trip off the beaten path, you may just luck into the cutie you’ve been waiting for.

Try hanging out in these surprising hot spots for finding love.

And contrary to the bar scene, where you have NO idea whether that attractive person has anything in common with you, when you check out these spots- you’ll already know who might just enjoy the same things as you.

Which gives you a perfect, easy opportunity to charmingly start a conversation which may just lead you to the date of your dreams!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner

1. The Library

Everyone knows that the book lover’s sexy cousin, the trendy Bookstore, is a fine place to happen upon an attractive stranger.

But did you know how hip the library is these days?! It’s not the stuffy old library of your youth. And lots of smart singles high-tail it over there to get their monthly supply of books and books on tape.

There’s one in your neighborhood, so stop by often and browse your favorite sections. When you see someone who sparks your interest, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I see you like the same kinds of books I do, I’m looking for something really interesting. What’s your favorite?”

2. The Used Music Store

They say that the couple who jams together, stays together! That’s because there is something about the music that moves you, that belies an underlying connection.

So check out your local used music place, and see who’s browsing your favorite artists.

When you catch a cutie in your section, try this….

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I’ve worn out my favorite tracks. Looking for something new- what’s been moving you recently?”

3. The Outdoor Art Show

Summer’s coming and all over the country there are large, cool art & craft shows that draw major, savvy crowds.

It’s the perfect place to casually people watch and be on the lookout for the partner of your dreams.

When you spot someone you’d love to know inside one of the art booths, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I love these. I’m thinking about getting one of these for my mom/dad. Which one is your favorite?”

Your perfect partner could be hiding anywhere, so break out of your rut and check out new locations, where you can have fun no matter who else shows up.

And, remember, finding true love isn’t just about where you go, it’s about who you are when you get there. So be sure to put on your happy face and send out the vibe that you’re friendly, warm, and easy to approach.

Singles What's the most unexpected place you ever found a date? Please share!

A FaceBook Holiday Challenge: A Time to Spread Healing

A little while back Time magazine documented the phenomenon of Raging Retrosexuals- the fact that many people are hooking up with long-lost crushes via social media, like Facebook.

Apparently Facebook is pretty darn decent at connecting you with the people you used to have sex with, or wished you used to have sex with.

As a result, it’s been unfortunately good at breaking up marriages. I’d hate to see those numbers.

In fact, it just happened to one of my husband’s best friends- whose wife suddenly up and left their family with 3 kids for her abusive high school boyfriend. Tragic. Really.

But, I’ve only been on Facebook a very short time and already I’ve seen how it can be a spring board for the opposite kind of effect: Forgiveness.

Yup, shockingly, Facebook can actually lead to healing long time wounds, instead of ripping open new ones.

One of the first emails I got through FB was from a long lost lover. Well, not really a lover per se, because we never had sex. But that doesn’t mean that we didn’t trade sexual favors for feelings of self worth.

Which of course is never a healthy thing. But I admit it, my mother never told me that boys like to use girls to satisfy certain needs. And unfortunately, I had unmet needs of my own- to feel loved, valued, worthy.

So like millions of teenage girls, then and now, I fell into the trap of trying to use sex to feel better about myself. It doesn’t work for long as many of you know.

But I tried that strategy for years, racking up a ton of heartbreak. And leaving behind a wake of young men grateful for the feel-good sex, but little else.

I eventually worked through those issues and stop giving myself away for such a low price. I never looked back angrily at those guys, I mean, I offered myself willingly. It was a lesson I needed to learn.

Yet, here unexpectedly in my brand-new Facebook Inbox was an apology of sorts. From a man who had grown up and recognized that perhaps all his actions weren’t entirely honorable. He didn’t have to do that- he certainly wasn't the worst of offenders.

It was simple and said, “Is it too late for apologies?”

It wasn’t even specific about what he was apologizing for.

Yet of course, it is never too late to be sorry for how you treated someone.

And in that moment, my heart poured open with appreciation for the gift of the simple recognition that “Yes, indeed, a long time ago, my feelings were hurt.”

I decided to allow that one simple acknowledgment to stand-in for an apology from every single man who I ever felt "used" by. And just like that, all of the long-forgotten and hidden hurts that resided in my soul melted away, released at last.

And I sent him back my own apology because it takes two to tango and no doubt my behavior had some uncomfortable effect on him.

By acknowledging the result of our choices and how they have affected others, even unintentionally, we step into integrity with our highest good and the highest good of all concerned.

We take back our power and full self-respect.

That, my friends is the power of apology and forgiveness. That sometimes, with even the slightest effort, decades of hurt can be healed. Often more deeply, widely, and profoundly then you would ever fathom to guess.

We all have this power to touch each other, to offer healing. How can we withhold it?

And apparently social media like Facebook can provide the avenue to connect with long ago companions, so that things may at long last be righted.

So, in this holiday season, where people are often saddened by the hurt and lack found in their past and present relationships, I’d like to suggest that we choose to consciously use social media for a different purpose:

To create a surge of healing throughout the land.

Let’s ride the wave of the true meaning of Christmas and take that spirit of giving, healing, and forgiveness to a new level by having the courage to bring all of our relationships back to LOVE.

Last spring I wrote a blog about the need for Completion- to go back to every relationship where something was left unsaid, undone, and to say and do those things which would put us in integrity and give us positive closure. And I gave you a powerful meditation to assist you on that journey.

Completion is needed now more than ever so that we can move into the New Year, fresh and unencumbered by the weights from the past. Only from that clean slate, can we create a truly gorgeous vision of our lives.

That’s my challenge to you this Holiday: Choose to bring back all of your relationships to Love with Completion.

And if Facebook and other social media can help you do that- than so be it.

I’m accepting my own challenge and have a list of people here with whom I want to offer a message of apology. Things I’m sorry for, things I’m grateful for. I’ll be working my way down the list until it’s Complete.

And if there are people out there who think I owe them an apology, please let me know. Sometimes we remain unaware of the extent of our behavior on others.

But with an open heart and an open mind, together, we can all create the healing upon this Earth that humanity needs at this time. One relationship at a time.

Rejoice in the spirit of the Holiday friends, because love is here to stay!

Inaugural Adventure Dating Event was a Success!

Last weekend, we hosted the first ever, Adventure Dating at the Ranch event, at my holistic healing horse ranch, Happily Ever After, outside Denver Colorado.

We had a huge turnout with 56 singles who were courageously ready for an Adventure in Love!

As rotating teams, they got to experience 9 Adventure Stations with a variety of active, creative, and get-to-know-you challenges. All designed to have fun while you get an inside peek into each other's real personality.

Laughter was heard throughout the property!

Remember, how I told you the only reason we hosted this event was because I had the inspiration that someone was supposed to meet their soulmate???

Well, 14 matches were made that day and already several of them have taken off at a full speed run toward love!

I can't wait to hear how these new couples forge ahead on their journey toward creating their own Happily Ever After!

Check out the fun during the 3 active challenges: Noodle Golf, Blind Duo Obstacle Course, Tethered-to-Me Obstacle Challenge.