4 Steps to Surviving a Singles New Year’s Eve (and Thriving!)

When you’re craving the loving lips of your perfect partner to kiss at midnight, it’s kind of a downer to be all alone.

But you can make 2011 the year you finally meet your ideal mate. And New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to step into a slate-clearing ritual which will be the first step to attracting real love next year.

So instead of heading out to a party, where the sight of all those happy couples might send you into a spiral of depression, here’s an uplifting way to spend the first night of the New Year.

New Year Ritual for Singles

Step 1: Set the Space for Romance

Create a comforting space where you can reflect upon last year and your desires for next year- maybe with candles, music, warm blankets, and your favorite snacks. The mood you are aiming for is gratitude: grateful appreciation for what has been and grateful expectation for what will be.

Step 2: Express Gratitude for the Gifts

Make a gratitude list from all of your dating experience last year. First focus on all of the experiences you don’t actually feel grateful for.

As you list them, tune into what the lesson was in each uncomfortable event. What was the gift? How was it asking you to step into your Best Self? Can you be appreciative of that opportunity? Wrap your list up with all of the dating experiences you actually do feel gratitude for.

Soak in that attitude of gratitude as you read your list out loud, thanking each person for the gem of opportunity they offered to you even if you didn’t recognize the gift until right this moment.

Step 3: Write Your Love Story

From this warm-hearted space, let’s step into your vision of love in the New Year. It’s time to write your very own love story. Yup- I want you to imagine what it will look and feel like once you are happily in love with your ideal partner.

Picture a scene you are looking forward to experiencing and write it out with all the details of every sense- what will you see, feel, hear, touch, taste, smell? Bring it to life in all it’s glory. Now you have a visualization you can use every day- once you step into this feeling, you become a mate magnet.

Step 4: Invite Your Mate to Join You

Standing in your power as a mate magnet, the last step to our ritual is to compose a letter to your beloved. After experiencing this future scene, what are all of the things you wish to say to the love of your life?

Consider this paper at once a thank you note, a love letter, and a personal invitation for this person to appear in your life. Once it’s done, place it in an envelope, and put it in a special drawer that you have cleared to be your partners once they show up.

Then go to sleep with the grateful expectation that real love will be yours in the new year, knowing that you just set the stage perfectly for your true love to walk into your life and sweep you off your feet.

Singles: How will you welcome love into the New Year? Share!

Top 5 Must-Do New Years Resolutions for Singles

If you are ringing in the New Year all alone, chances are you’re ready to finally find love in 2011.

Of course, January is the perfect time to wipe your slate clean of last year’s love mistakes to ensure that next year really is filled with lasting love.

If you are serious about fast forwarding to the relationship of your dreams, it’s time to commit to the following six resolutions.

1. Bust Old Patterns

If your luck in love is going to be different next year, the first thing you need to do is get honest with yourself about the patterns that are holding you back.

Think back through the last few years- which experiences have you had over and over? Do you pursue while he withdraws? Are you forever rescuing her?

Resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes, then walk away, so you can create new, healthy habits pronto.

2. Date Outside Your Type

Chances are if “your type” hasn’t panned out for you by now, it’s time to discover a new type. Quirky artist not working out so well? Mr. Wall Street never emotionally available?

Resolve to date outside your normal comfort zone. Consider opening up your expectations in regard to age, height, income, race, job, etc.

Soulmates come in unexpected packages- broaden your horizon and you’re more apt to stumble upon an unexpected perfect match.

3. Ditch the Duds Fast

The best way to fast forward to The One? Stop wasting your time with people who are clearly only Mr./Ms. Right Now.

As long as you give away your valuable time, attention, and emotion to the wrong partner, you’ll never find the right relationship. Limit yourself to three months of dating, if the bond doesn’t obviously have more potential by then, move on.

4. Blast through Dating Ruts

Yup- doing what you’ve always done, will get you what you’ve always gotten. If you haven’t found the right partner during your usual routine, it’s time to get creative in your daily & dating activities.

Join new groups, take novel classes, or frequent different coffee shops, bookstores, hiking trails, & grocery stores. Your ideal mate is out there- if you are always somewhere new, doing something different, you maximize the chances of serendipity working it’s magic.

5. Share Your Best Self

Maybe it’s not just what you are doing that needs a makeover, but who you are and how you show up! Get real with yourself by asking: What about you isn’t as attractive as it could be?

Ask your closest friend for honest feedback. Do you tend to be overly anxious or pessimistic? Are quick to pass judgment or so shy you fade into the background? Maybe it’s time to hit the gym, get some cute clothes, or try a new hairstyle?

When you step into your best self, you’ll more naturally attract a better partner- the one you truly deserve.

By making these 5 commitments, you’ll be well on your way to making 2011 the year you finally find true love!

Readers: What's your New Years Resolution to find love? Please share!

3 Steps to Finding Love in 2011

Being single around the holidays can, well, suck. But it doesn’t have to for long, because you can focus on getting jazzed up about finally finding The One in 2011.

Woo-hoo!

To boost your chances of attracting real love next year, there are really only 3 simple steps you need to take. If you start focusing on them now, by the time you ring in the New Year, you can be fast-forwarding yourself towards the love you deserve.

But, if you get all bah-hum-bug on me and stay stuck in a rut of old patterns. Well, I hate to say it, but 2011 will probably look a lot like 2010 did- without the love of your life gracing your days.

So, let’s leap into the New Year ready to manifest real, lasting love into your life.

Get started now with these 3 Steps for Finding Love in 2011

1. Extend Gratitude for your Love Lessons

Before you’ll be ready to really attract a new kind of love that is deeply fulfilling, you’ll have to take a serious look at what you created last year in the love department.

Sit down with a notebook and go through all of your love experiences in 2010 and identify the MAJOR LESSONS each experience invited you to learn.

Now, dig deep into your heart and express some gratitude to each of these people who offered these lessons- because if you had not learned these lessons you wouldn’t be ready to meet The One.

Really.

So find the part of your heart that can really and truly be thankful for each and every one of these not so perfect partners.


2. Clarify the Pattern

With your lessons front and center, you should be able to recognize the patterns you tend to play out in your love life.

Take some thoughtful time to get super clear about:

- The kind of partner you tend to attract (the good and not so good qualities)

- The kinds of unhappy interactions you tend to have with partners

- The ways in which your needs tend to remain unfulfilled

- The behaviors you engage in which keep this cycle going on


3. Set Your Action Plan

Awesome- now that you know what ISN’T working, commit to doing something new that will work!

Based on your insights about the old patterns, create some new dating rules for yourself so you can create a new pattern. And get a buddy to hold you accountable so that real love can be yours this year.

For example,

- If fear held you back and you hardly met anyone last year, grab a single friend and commit to going to 2 singles events a month.


- If you keep falling for emotionally unavailable partners, commit to walking out the door as soon as you see the old warning signs so you can stay available for a great partner.


- If you tend to find fault with everyone you date, commit to giving everyone 3 chances- you never know what a little time might do for your bond.


You get the idea- bust out of your dating ruts, and soon lasting love can be your reward. Make 2011 the year you finally find The One- you deserve it.

And we’ll be right here with you, supporting you toward creating Authentic Attraction that can result in Love that Lasts a Lifetime!

Give yourself the gift of love! Not sure how to clear the old patterns? Our 3 part- e-course, Super Charge Your Soulmate Magnet will help you shift out of the old so you can begin attracting real love right away!

Ready to take action now? I found my husband online and you can too- I can help: Meet Your Mate Online

Top 3 Dating Lessons from the Bachelorette

Can you find real love on a reality TV show? Doubtful. Since the conditions aren't real!

But you can learn REAL love lessons from all that drama. Let's take a peek at this season's Bachelorette, Ali, to see what insights her journey offer for those looking for real life lasting love.

Lesson 1: Juggling is Oh-So-Good

The Bachelorette is set up so Ali gets to date a ton of guys at a time. While you may never have 25 guys vying for your attention at one time (and it isn't smart to actually fall in love with more than one at a time!), there is some wisdom to getting to know a few prospects at a time.

That's what I call Juggling, and it's perfect because it keeps you moving toward finding real love with fewer time outs when guys up and disappear. And it's less heartbreaking when one or more disqualify themselves from the running- because you still have hope another option will pan out.

Plus, when you spread your attention out over a few qualified prospects, you take the time to go slower- getting to know the real person behind the persona. This means you won't make the mistake of falling head over heels for a mere image of the perfect partner before you know what's on the inside. By going slowly, you can build a solid love, one date at a time.


Lesson 2: Follow Your Gut

One of Ali's most genuine connections from the start was with Frank. Yet, something wasn't quite right. She even said it herself a few dates in, something like: "What scares me is you have the potential to break my heart."

BINGO! Fast forward several episodes to where Ali has chosen Frank to stay in the top 3 and he informs her he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend! Ouch! Now her heart is broken and she sent home good guys who could have been The One.

The moral? Always listen to your instincts. If something feels off, 90% of the time, it is and you shouldn't slide forward in your connection until you get it figured out. Bring your concerns up and don't ignore them until it feels right.

A good line to try: "Is there something you aren't telling me?" If the answer doesn't feel right, don't trust it, move on.


Lesson 3: Listen to Your Friends

Oh boy, the hunky Wrestler. An upstanding man in pursuit of real love or a fake, selfish publicity seeker? That was the question from the very first episode- when all the men voted Justin off- they just didn't trust him.

But his charming, smooth ways won over Ali in spite of everyone else's opinion. Only to find out mid-way through that he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home- he was a dishonorable liar. And again, Ali sent home quality guys to keep this phony.

The lesson? When in doubt, always listen to the opinion of close friends and family who often have clearer judgment that isn't clouded by hopes of love and hormones. If no one likes your new date- there is a reason- get to the bottom of it before love leaves you with a broken heart.

While true love isn't easy to find on TV, you have high hopes of creating a lasting love when you date smart!

Readers: Which hunky prospect would you have choosen for Ali? For yourself? Let us know!

Wondering how much longer it's gonna be until you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn's Attractor Factor quiz and discover what's keeping you from finding real, lasting love. Haven't you waited long enough? Become a Massive Love Magnet today! Take the quiz now: http://www.mysoulmatesolution.com

Online Dating: The Most Expensive Mistake Sites Want You to KEEP Making!

Online dating is an excellent way to finally find the perfect partner you’ve been waiting for. But only if you master the art of online dating with authenticity and charm.

Which isn’t as simple as it seems.

In part, because there is a dirty little secret the online dating sites don’t want you to know.

That’s because as long as you keep making this mistake, you’ll never find The One.

Which works out nicely for the sites since you’ll keep handing over your hard earned money in the hopes of eventually attracting real love.

What’s this secret?

That the Wink or Smile feature doesn’t work!

Some time ago, most of the popular Internet dating sites added a fancy new feature that seemed, at first glance, to be a fantastic idea: The Wink or Smile.

With this feature, it took only one click to let new cuties know that you were interested in them- without having to write a word.

It seemed to make perfect sense.

The apparent benefit? It immediately streamlined the time it took you to reach out and express your interest to more potential dates than ever.

A good thing?

Absolutely not!

Because there was a Hidden Downfall:
Winks or Smiles don’t work because they are actually an INSULT!

Really? An Insult?

Oh yes, because here is what you are REALLY communicating when you send a wink or smile:

I’m not interested in you enough to spend a moment to write you a short, thoughtful email. I’m only willing to expend the effort it takes to press this button once.

See what I mean?

Hardly a compliment that makes the recipient want to expend ANY energy looking at your profile to see if you are worth writing back to.

Nope! That’s why the vast majority of winks or smiles get ignored.

So not only are they a total waste of your time, but you are actually missing out on great dates and maybe even bypassing The ONE!!!

That’s because some of those people you winked at would surely have responded to you if only you had taken the time to write them a compelling greeting instead!

So, this set up certainly works for the online dating sites- right? Because they look like good guys- giving you a quick and easy way to connect.

But it’s actually a DIS-connect working against you finding love- in essence, ensuring that you stay a paying member on their site for a good long time.

That’s why savvy, successful online daters NEVER use the wink or smile.

Instead they write an engaging, meaningful greeting email and score dozens more dates than you.

All leading them to finding the love they’ve been waiting for!

Readers: Does the wink or smile feature insult you? Let us know!

Do you have the skills it takes to find love online?
Find out now- take the Online Attraction Quiz:
MeetYourMateOnline.com

The 3 Best First-Date Compliments to Ensure a Second Date!

Do you find yourself going on plenty of first dates, but never getting to the second date? Or maybe it’s a challenge to even get to the first date?

If so, you might need to polish the skills it takes to create an authentic attraction, one that creates enough curiosity that you are naturally lead to the next date.

Thankfully, the Art of Authentic Attraction is simple enough! It’s all about coming from your heart so you can connect to the heart of your date.

Below you’ll discover the 3 Best Compliments to give your date to build instant connection, heart to heart. Once a connection is created, the desire to learn more about each other is sparked, giving you the opportunity to meet again.

Of course, you can only offer these words of praise if they are genuine- otherwise, you aren’t being authentic, you’re playing a game! So keep in mind, it’s ok to personalize your compliments to the strengths you see in your date.

Compliment 1: “I love the sparkle in your eyes.”

The eyes are indeed the window to the soul, so take the time to make deep meaningful eye contact with your date, seeing past the outer imperfections to the inner beauty.

As you do, let them know you appreciate the sparkle you see there. With this comment, you are reflecting the energy of WHO they are. And everyone loves to be SEEN for who they really are.

Since people so frequently don’t recognize each other for the energy they are bringing to the moment, when you do, you’ll immediately create a spark of curiosity in your date- based on a real, mini-heart bond.

A bond you can build on during the rest of your date.

Compliment 2: “Wow, I really admire your passion about that!”

Ask your date what they are passionate about and keep asking them questions about it until they literally come alive right in front of you.

When talking about their passion people actually become more attractive AND your sincere interest in their passion makes you immediately more attractive as well. So it’s a double bonus leading to chemistry.

Plus when you honor someone’s innate interests, you create commonality, boosting their desire to see you again.

Compliment 3: “I love the way I feel around you! You make me feel ________!”

We all crave recognition for being the great people we are. But in our rushed world, we don’t often get to directly see the positive impact we have on each other.

So, when you honestly share with someone how they have affected you, you immediately open their heart, because once again, they feel SEEN, creating a robust connection.

Practice playing with these 3 compliments to see how much instant connection and chemistry can create the opportunity for so many more happy dates leading to real lasting love!

Readers: What compliment helped you score a second date? Or what compliment was given to you that opened your heart? Please share!

Love Lessons from LOST: Are you a Jack or Sawyer Girl?

What will I do without my weekly fix of the hot guys on the steamy island of LOST?

I'll be honest- Jack is more my style- a gorgeous man trying to save the tribe, who's also vulnerable enough to cry- THAT steals my heart.

And drives my husband crazy, "Is that MAN crying AGAIN!" Oh yes, baby, he IS! ;)

But, give me a night alone with Sawyer, and well, I'll appreciate that opportunity as well.

But, if you're looking for a lifetime of love- Jack is your best bet.

Actually- the point is, both of these cuties have baggage, and so most likely do you.

The real question is: Which type of baggage can you most easily live with???

If you pick Sawyer, with his bad-boy good looks, you also get his prickly, sometimes deceptive, "I may be outta here in a moment" attitude.

He's sexy, and if he loves you, you can probably count on him in a pinch, but is it really worth all of the drama? That defensive bristle isn't so easy to get along with for the long haul. And his need for space, his desire to hide his true emotions, and his requirement of always having an escape route- well, those all spell trouble in paradise for you.

Besides, he always looks, so.... pinched! Where's the smile, babe?

If you find yourself routinely attracted to the Sawyer type, it's likely you end up with more than your fair share of broken hearts and it might just be time to try a little more Jack-like romance.

Jack's baggage? Well, trying to gain the approval of a father in whose eyes he was never enough, Jack has an insatiable urge to be the good guy, trying to save the world, and trying to do right by you.

He's loyal almost to a fault, because integrity is all he has to prop up his sense of doubt about his worth. This is a man who will do anything to win your love and save your relationship.

That’s the kind of baggage that’s easy to live with because it supports you in building a bond that can withstand a lifetime of LOST like challenges.

If you typically fall for men like Jack, it's safe to say that one of these days you'll hit the JACKpot and find a keeper.

While you might be tempted occasionally to stray into the sexy arms of his rival Sawyer- Jack's the man who will really have your back.

If I'm ever stranded on a tropical island- Jack's gonna be my main man!

How about you?

Start by assessing your own baggage and when you meet a potential partner, be sure to see if their baggage compliments, or aggravates your own.

If it’s smooth sailing, you can be assured of sunny seas ahead. But if you push each other’s buttons, stormy seas mean it may make sense to bail out now and save yourself!

Readers: Who would YOU choose? Please share!

Read what the writers at Tango see as the 5 LOST Love Lessons. I'm not sure I agree with them about Sawyer tho!

Are One of These 3 Biggest Blocks to Love Detouring Your Love Life?

If you are still single and searching for the perfect partner you’ve got to be wondering, “WHY isn’t this happening for me?!”

Looking for true, lasting love can be frustrating and disappointing.

But when you’ve got one of the most common love blocks working it’s obstructive action in your life, real love becomes painfully impossible!

Take a peek inside to see if any of these widespread love detours are delaying the arrival of your vision of relationship bliss. Then discover a powerful way to dissolve these blocks so you can move ahead to make your dreams of love a reality.

Love Blocker 1: Feeling Unworthy

Most of us think we’ve resolved any lingering doubts about our worthiness to enjoy a great relationship. But often, there are feelings of self-doubt, low self esteem, or unattractiveness still hidden in our heart. Deep down, we’re just not convinced we’re lovable just the way we are.

Love Block Melter 1
It’s time to banish those doubts once and for all. And what’s more powerful than a room full of friends holding up a mirror showing you how awesome you really are!? So gather your closest friends and family and throw a Gratitude Party.

Have each person write a letter sand read it out loud, telling you why you deserve to have the most loving relationship. When you are surrounded by this much authentic love, it’ll melt away old wounds in a heart beat!

Love Blocker 2: Fear of Being Hurt

Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart, and after about the 10^th time, many people wall up their hearts and put in heavy-duty security to ensure they never feel that way again. But then, the good love can’t get through either and many a well-meaning partner will give up trying to break down the walls.

Love Block Melter 2

Get back in the game and start taking smart risks. Once you meet a quality potential partner, whom all your friends agree seems good for you, begin opening up slowly and surely. Share yourself like a fine novel, allowing them to see all sides of yourself, one chapter at a time.

If they start to act untrustworthy, put on the brakes and proceed with caution, only investing yourself in equal amounts to what they offer you- this ensures the relationships grows in balance- and hinders major heartbreak.

Love Blocker 3: Repeating Past Mistakes

Nothing will net you a broken heart faster than repeating the same old painful mistakes…falling for the same deadbeat type, or playing out patterns that cause pain.

It’s time to create a healthy new map to love!

Love Block Melter 3

Sit down with a trusted friend and review your past partners and relationships. Notice any commonalities that lead to destructive outcomes. Once you know where you’ve gone astray, you can set new guidelines to steer your love life in a new rewarding direction. Then keep your friend on tap to remind you when you’re straying into dangerous territory. By making small, ongoing corrections in your course, you can be onto real love around the next corner!

READERS: What's been YOUR biggest block to love? Please share!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner!

As a dating coach, the first question my single clients always ask me is: Where do I find The One?!

Of course, if I had the real answer to that question, I’d be a psychic worth millions!

But there are some unexpected places you may not have thought about to bump into true love.

By taking a trip off the beaten path, you may just luck into the cutie you’ve been waiting for.

Try hanging out in these surprising hot spots for finding love.

And contrary to the bar scene, where you have NO idea whether that attractive person has anything in common with you, when you check out these spots- you’ll already know who might just enjoy the same things as you.

Which gives you a perfect, easy opportunity to charmingly start a conversation which may just lead you to the date of your dreams!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner

1. The Library

Everyone knows that the book lover’s sexy cousin, the trendy Bookstore, is a fine place to happen upon an attractive stranger.

But did you know how hip the library is these days?! It’s not the stuffy old library of your youth. And lots of smart singles high-tail it over there to get their monthly supply of books and books on tape.

There’s one in your neighborhood, so stop by often and browse your favorite sections. When you see someone who sparks your interest, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I see you like the same kinds of books I do, I’m looking for something really interesting. What’s your favorite?”

2. The Used Music Store

They say that the couple who jams together, stays together! That’s because there is something about the music that moves you, that belies an underlying connection.

So check out your local used music place, and see who’s browsing your favorite artists.

When you catch a cutie in your section, try this….

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I’ve worn out my favorite tracks. Looking for something new- what’s been moving you recently?”

3. The Outdoor Art Show

Summer’s coming and all over the country there are large, cool art & craft shows that draw major, savvy crowds.

It’s the perfect place to casually people watch and be on the lookout for the partner of your dreams.

When you spot someone you’d love to know inside one of the art booths, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I love these. I’m thinking about getting one of these for my mom/dad. Which one is your favorite?”

Your perfect partner could be hiding anywhere, so break out of your rut and check out new locations, where you can have fun no matter who else shows up.

And, remember, finding true love isn’t just about where you go, it’s about who you are when you get there. So be sure to put on your happy face and send out the vibe that you’re friendly, warm, and easy to approach.

Singles What's the most unexpected place you ever found a date? Please share!