Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The 3 Best First-Date Compliments to Ensure a Second Date!

Do you find yourself going on plenty of first dates, but never getting to the second date? Or maybe it’s a challenge to even get to the first date?

If so, you might need to polish the skills it takes to create an authentic attraction, one that creates enough curiosity that you are naturally lead to the next date.

Thankfully, the Art of Authentic Attraction is simple enough! It’s all about coming from your heart so you can connect to the heart of your date.

Below you’ll discover the 3 Best Compliments to give your date to build instant connection, heart to heart. Once a connection is created, the desire to learn more about each other is sparked, giving you the opportunity to meet again.

Of course, you can only offer these words of praise if they are genuine- otherwise, you aren’t being authentic, you’re playing a game! So keep in mind, it’s ok to personalize your compliments to the strengths you see in your date.

Compliment 1: “I love the sparkle in your eyes.”

The eyes are indeed the window to the soul, so take the time to make deep meaningful eye contact with your date, seeing past the outer imperfections to the inner beauty.

As you do, let them know you appreciate the sparkle you see there. With this comment, you are reflecting the energy of WHO they are. And everyone loves to be SEEN for who they really are.

Since people so frequently don’t recognize each other for the energy they are bringing to the moment, when you do, you’ll immediately create a spark of curiosity in your date- based on a real, mini-heart bond.

A bond you can build on during the rest of your date.

Compliment 2: “Wow, I really admire your passion about that!”

Ask your date what they are passionate about and keep asking them questions about it until they literally come alive right in front of you.

When talking about their passion people actually become more attractive AND your sincere interest in their passion makes you immediately more attractive as well. So it’s a double bonus leading to chemistry.

Plus when you honor someone’s innate interests, you create commonality, boosting their desire to see you again.

Compliment 3: “I love the way I feel around you! You make me feel ________!”

We all crave recognition for being the great people we are. But in our rushed world, we don’t often get to directly see the positive impact we have on each other.

So, when you honestly share with someone how they have affected you, you immediately open their heart, because once again, they feel SEEN, creating a robust connection.

Practice playing with these 3 compliments to see how much instant connection and chemistry can create the opportunity for so many more happy dates leading to real lasting love!

Readers: What compliment helped you score a second date? Or what compliment was given to you that opened your heart? Please share!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Love Lessons from LOST: Are you a Jack or Sawyer Girl?

What will I do without my weekly fix of the hot guys on the steamy island of LOST?

I'll be honest- Jack is more my style- a gorgeous man trying to save the tribe, who's also vulnerable enough to cry- THAT steals my heart.

drives my husband crazy, "Is that MAN crying AGAIN!" Oh yes, baby, he IS! ;)

But, give me a night alone with Sawyer, and well, I'll appreciate that opportunity as well.

But, if you're looking for a lifetime of love- Jack is your best bet.

Actually- the point is, both of these cuties have baggage, and so most likely do you.

The real question is: Which type of baggage can you most easily live with???

If you pick Sawyer, with his bad-boy good looks, you also get his prickly, sometimes deceptive, "I may be outta here in a moment" attitude.

He's sexy, and if he loves you, you can probably count on him in a pinch, but is it really worth all of the drama? That defensive bristle isn't so easy to get along with for the long haul. And his need for space, his desire to hide his true emotions, and his requirement of always having an escape route- well, those all spell trouble in paradise for you.

Besides, he always looks, so.... pinched! Where's the smile, babe?

If you find yourself routinely attracted to the Sawyer type, it's likely you end up with more than your fair share of broken hearts and it might just be time to try a little more Jack-like romance.

Jack's baggage? Well, trying to gain the approval of a father in whose eyes he was never enough, Jack has an insatiable urge to be the good guy, trying to save the world, and trying to do right by you.

He's loyal almost to a fault, because integrity is all he has to prop up his sense of doubt about his worth. This is a man who will do anything to win your love and save your relationship.
That’s the kind of baggage that’s easy to live with because it supports you in building a bond that can withstand a lifetime of LOST like challenges.

If you typically fall for men like Jack, it's safe to say that one of these days you'll hit the JACKpot and find a keeper.

While you might be tempted occasionally to stray into the sexy arms of his rival Sawyer- Jack's the man who will really have your back.

If I'm ever stranded on a tropical island- Jack's gonna be my main man!

How about you?
Start by assessing your own baggage and when you meet a potential partner, be sure to see if their baggage compliments, or aggravates your own.

If it’s smooth sailing, you can be assured of sunny seas ahead. But if you push each other’s buttons, stormy seas mean it may make sense to bail out now and save yourself!

Readers: Who would YOU choose? Please share!
Read what the writers at Tango see as the 5 LOST Love Lessons. I'm not sure I agree with them about Sawyer tho!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Are One of These 3 Biggest Blocks to Love Detouring Your Love Life?

If you are still single and searching for the perfect partner you’ve got to be wondering, “WHY isn’t this happening for me?!”

Looking for true, lasting love can be frustrating and disappointing.

But when you’ve got one of the most common love blocks working it’s obstructive action in your life, real love becomes painfully impossible!

Take a peek inside to see if any of these widespread love detours are delaying the arrival of your vision of relationship bliss. Then discover a powerful way to dissolve these blocks so you can move ahead to make your dreams of love a reality.

Love Blocker 1: Feeling Unworthy

Most of us think we’ve resolved any lingering doubts about our worthiness to enjoy a great relationship. But often, there are feelings of self-doubt, low self esteem, or unattractiveness still hidden in our heart. Deep down, we’re just not convinced we’re lovable just the way we are.

Love Block Melter 1
It’s time to banish those doubts once and for all. And what’s more powerful than a room full of friends holding up a mirror showing you how awesome you really are!? So gather your closest friends and family and throw a Gratitude Party.

Have each person write a letter sand read it out loud, telling you why you deserve to have the most loving relationship. When you are surrounded by this much authentic love, it’ll melt away old wounds in a heart beat!

Love Blocker 2: Fear of Being Hurt

Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart, and after about the 10th time, many people wall up their hearts and put in heavy-duty security to ensure they never feel that way again. But then, the good love can’t get through either and many a well-meaning partner will give up trying to break down the walls.

Love Block Melter 2

Get back in the game and start taking smart risks. Once you meet a quality potential partner, whom all your friends agree seems good for you, begin opening up slowly and surely. Share yourself like a fine novel, allowing them to see all sides of yourself, one chapter at a time.

If they start to act untrustworthy, put on the brakes and proceed with caution, only investing yourself in equal amounts to what they offer you- this ensures the relationships grows in balance- and hinders major heartbreak.

Love Blocker 3: Repeating Past Mistakes

Nothing will net you a broken heart faster than repeating the same old painful mistakes…falling for the same deadbeat type, or playing out patterns that cause pain.

It’s time to create a healthy new map to love!

Love Block Melter 3

Sit down with a trusted friend and review your past partners and relationships. Notice any commonalities that lead to destructive outcomes. Once you know where you’ve gone astray, you can set new guidelines to steer your love life in a new rewarding direction. Then keep your friend on tap to remind you when you’re straying into dangerous territory. By making small, ongoing corrections in your course, you can be onto real love around the next corner!

READERS: What's been YOUR biggest block to love? Please share!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner!

As a dating coach, the first question my single clients always ask me is: Where do I find The One?!

Of course, if I had the real answer to that question, I’d be a psychic worth millions!

But there are some unexpected places you may not have thought about to bump into true love.

By taking a trip off the beaten path, you may just luck into the cutie you’ve been waiting for.

Try hanging out in these surprising hot spots for finding love.

And contrary to the bar scene, where you have NO idea whether that attractive person has anything in common with you, when you check out these spots- you’ll already know who might just enjoy the same things as you.

Which gives you a perfect, easy opportunity to charmingly start a conversation which may just lead you to the date of your dreams!

3 Unexpected Places to Meet the Perfect Partner

1. The Library

Everyone knows that the book lover’s sexy cousin, the trendy Bookstore, is a fine place to happen upon an attractive stranger.

But did you know how hip the library is these days?! It’s not the stuffy old library of your youth. And lots of smart singles high-tail it over there to get their monthly supply of books and books on tape.

There’s one in your neighborhood, so stop by often and browse your favorite sections. When you see someone who sparks your interest, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I see you like the same kinds of books I do, I’m looking for something really interesting. What’s your favorite?”

2. The Used Music Store

They say that the couple who jams together, stays together! That’s because there is something about the music that moves you, that belies an underlying connection.

So check out your local used music place, and see who’s browsing your favorite artists.

When you catch a cutie in your section, try this….

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I’ve worn out my favorite tracks. Looking for something new- what’s been moving you recently?”

3. The Outdoor Art Show

Summer’s coming and all over the country there are large, cool art & craft shows that draw major, savvy crowds.

It’s the perfect place to casually people watch and be on the lookout for the partner of your dreams.

When you spot someone you’d love to know inside one of the art booths, try this…

Perfect Partner Pick-Up Line:

“I love these. I’m thinking about getting one of these for my mom/dad. Which one is your favorite?”

Your perfect partner could be hiding anywhere, so break out of your rut and check out new locations, where you can have fun no matter who else shows up.

And, remember, finding true love isn’t just about where you go, it’s about who you are when you get there. So be sure to put on your happy face and send out the vibe that you’re friendly, warm, and easy to approach.

Singles What's the most unexpected place you ever found a date? Please share!