Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Help! My Partner is NOT over the Ex!

QUESTION: My boyfriend seems to love me but he keeps lying about his relationship with his Ex. Obviously, they are more than friends. Is there any hope for us?

ANSWER: Frankly, the only reason your partner is lying to you is that he KNOWS the truth isn’t acceptable. Otherwise, he wouldn’t need to keep hiding his thoughts, feelings, and actions involving his ex.

Sadly, if someone keeps lying, that means that there is something to hide!

Unless you’re OK sharing your beau with his ex, chances are it’s time to move on.

Clearly, his heart and mind are still involved with another woman. No matter how well the two of you get along, if he’s still stuck on feelings for his ex- he simply isn’t 100% available to be committed to you, heart and soul.

And you deserve to have a whole man to yourself- one who loves you without need to divide his time and attention.

If you are so right for each other AND the time comes when he is wholly available (and I mean it’s been 6 months or more without ANY involvement with the EX), you could consider rebuilding a relationship, but until then, you are settling for second best.

Readers, what do you think? If someone still holds a torch for an ex, should you bail right away or give it time and feel things out? Leave us a comment!

Thanks to for posting this original Q&A. See the discussion here.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Singles Surviving Valentine’s Day: Top 5 Ideas to Boost Your Love

If you’re single, you probably cringe when someone brings up the dreaded V-day, one of the loneliest holidays for the unhitched.

That’s because, surrounded by images of happy couples reveling in love, it’s hard not to focus on the fact that you’re not getting any!

But here’s an interesting irony.

As long as you’re focused on what makes you unhappy, all of the feelings of sadness, frustration, and helplessness- your Love Faucet is closed.

Love literally can’t come your way because when you walk around bummed out, your body language doesn’t attract other people, it actually repels them.

So, this Valentine’s day there is a simple key to launch you from surviving to thriving: Focus on giving love.

Rather than going on about your love woes and the love you aren’t getting, step into being a Giver of Love- to everyone in your path- from the barista at your coffee shop, to your cranky co-worker hunched at his desk, to the harried waitress serving up dinner.

When you focus on giving love, you immediately light up. Those warm and fuzzies you’re passing around? They automatically make you look more attractive to other people- drawing them to you.

Even better, once you are being love, your Love Faucet is turned back on and you are now having the Experience of Love.

Top 5 Ideas to Boost Your Love

- As you are out and about, gift everyone whose eyes you meet a huge smile while sending a beam of love.

- Send an over-due thank you note to someone who touched your heart.

- Give a genuine compliment to everyone you interact with- from friends to colleagues to service workers.

- Offer someone you know is feeling down or having bad luck a tiny trinket that symbolizes hope, love, or the power of dreams.

- On a note card, write the phrases, “You are loved. Pass it on.” Leave the note in a public place, like your co-worker’s desk, a table at the mall food-court, or even hand it to a stranger you pass on the street!

Get in the habit of giving love and it’s only a matter of time until you’ll be the recipient of the loving you’ve been waiting for.

But why wait? This Valentine’s Day, step into giving the love, which will help you feel the love, which will lead you right into attracting the love you long for!

Readers: What helps you step into experiencing love by giving love? Please share!