Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Top 3 Dating Lessons from the Bachelorette

Can you find real love on a reality TV show? Doubtful. Since the conditions aren't real!

But you can learn REAL love lessons from all that drama. Let's take a peek at this season's Bachelorette, Ali, to see what insights her journey offer for those looking for real life lasting love.

Lesson 1: Juggling is Oh-So-Good

The Bachelorette is set up so Ali gets to date a ton of guys at a time. While you may never have 25 guys vying for your attention at one time (and it isn't smart to actually fall in love with more than one at a time!), there is some wisdom to getting to know a few prospects at a time.

That's what I call Juggling, and it's perfect because it keeps you moving toward finding real love with fewer time outs when guys up and disappear. And it's less heartbreaking when one or more disqualify themselves from the running- because you still have hope another option will pan out.

Plus, when you spread your attention out over a few qualified prospects, you take the time to go slower- getting to know the real person behind the persona. This means you won't make the mistake of falling head over heels for a mere image of the perfect partner before you know what's on the inside. By going slowly, you can build a solid love, one date at a time.

Lesson 2: Follow Your Gut

One of Ali's most genuine connections from the start was with Frank. Yet, something wasn't quite right. She even said it herself a few dates in, something like: "What scares me is you have the potential to break my heart."

BINGO! Fast forward several episodes to where Ali has chosen Frank to stay in the top 3 and he informs her he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend! Ouch! Now her heart is broken and she sent home good guys who could have been The One.

The moral? Always listen to your instincts. If something feels off, 90% of the time, it is and you shouldn't slide forward in your connection until you get it figured out. Bring your concerns up and don't ignore them until it feels right.

A good line to try: "Is there something you aren't telling me?" If the answer doesn't feel right, don't trust it, move on.

Lesson 3: Listen to Your Friends

Oh boy, the hunky Wrestler. An upstanding man in pursuit of real love or a fake, selfish publicity seeker? That was the question from the very first episode- when all the men voted Justin off- they just didn't trust him.

But his charming, smooth ways won over Ali in spite of everyone else's opinion. Only to find out mid-way through that he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home- he was a dishonorable liar. And again, Ali sent home quality guys to keep this phony.

The lesson? When in doubt, always listen to the opinion of close friends and family who often have clearer judgment that isn't clouded by hopes of love and hormones. If no one likes your new date- there is a reason- get to the bottom of it before love leaves you with a broken heart.

While true love isn't easy to find on TV, you have high hopes of creating a lasting love when you date smart!

Readers: Which hunky prospect would you have choosen for Ali? For yourself? Let us know!

Wondering how much longer it's gonna be until you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn's Attractor Factor quiz and discover what's keeping you from finding real, lasting love. Haven't you waited long enough? Become a Massive Love Magnet today! Take the quiz now:

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Online Dating: The Most Expensive Mistake Sites Want You to KEEP Making!

Online dating is an excellent way to finally find the perfect partner you’ve been waiting for. But only if you master the art of online dating with authenticity and charm.

Which isn’t as simple as it seems.

In part, because there is a dirty little secret the online dating sites don’t want you to know.

That’s because as long as you keep making this mistake, you’ll never find The One.

Which works out nicely for the sites since you’ll keep handing over your hard earned money in the hopes of eventually attracting real love.

What’s this secret?

That the Wink or Smile feature doesn’t work!

Some time ago, most of the popular Internet dating sites added a fancy new feature that seemed, at first glance, to be a fantastic idea: The Wink or Smile.

With this feature, it took only one click to let new cuties know that you were interested in them- without having to write a word.

It seemed to make perfect sense.

The apparent benefit? It immediately streamlined the time it took you to reach out and express your interest to more potential dates than ever.

A good thing?

Absolutely not!

Because there was a Hidden Downfall:
Winks or Smiles don’t work because they are actually an INSULT!

Really? An Insult?

Oh yes, because here is what you are REALLY communicating when you send a wink or smile:

I’m not interested in you enough to spend a moment to write you a short, thoughtful email. I’m only willing to expend the effort it takes to press this button once.

See what I mean?

Hardly a compliment that makes the recipient want to expend ANY energy looking at your profile to see if you are worth writing back to.

Nope! That’s why the vast majority of winks or smiles get ignored.

So not only are they a total waste of your time, but you are actually missing out on great dates and maybe even bypassing The ONE!!!

That’s because some of those people you winked at would surely have responded to you if only you had taken the time to write them a compelling greeting instead!

So, this set up certainly works for the online dating sites- right? Because they look like good guys- giving you a quick and easy way to connect.

But it’s actually a DIS-connect working against you finding love- in essence, ensuring that you stay a paying member on their site for a good long time.

That’s why savvy, successful online daters NEVER use the wink or smile.

Instead they write an engaging, meaningful greeting email and score dozens more dates than you.

All leading them to finding the love they’ve been waiting for!

Readers: Does the wink or smile feature insult you? Let us know!

Do you have the skills it takes to find love online?
Find out now- take the Online Attraction Quiz: